SAWWY [exclamation]
Pronunciation Sor Wee.
Meaning Sorry.
Usage "Right, time to be honest. I've been seeing your mother, your sister, your best friend and your daughter behind your back. I'm sawwy."
Origin Zed, 1999.

SAYA ADALAH KELAPA YANG BODOH
Pronunciation To be honest, I don't have a clue.
Meaning I am a stupid coconut. "kelapa" is coconut, should you wish to replace it with anything, and "saya" is "I", for replacement with "saudara" (you), "anda" (he/she) or a person's name.
Usage "Zed Leppelin adalah kelapa yang bodoh."
Origin Ven, 16 January 2000. Apparently it's Indonesian. She insisted I brought it into the vernacular, so here it is, lads, here it is.

SCANK [adjective]
Pronunciation Skank
Meaning Annoying, aevil, ax-worthy or rubbish.
Usage "My computer is a scank dodgy hempfiend of dume."
Origin Zed, early 1997. I don't care if everyone else spells it with two 'k', the Creat way has had a 'c' since before most people used the word!

SCANKPANTS [noun]
Pronunciation Skank pantz
Meaning Rather nasty underwear.
Usage Usually while playing consequences. "He wore nothing. She wore scankpants."
Origin Roe and Will, June 1998.

SCANKWENCH [noun]
Pronunciation Skank wench.
Meaning Aevil or annoying female person, but usually used in an affectionate way. A character in my novel "Tailgating".
Usage "Scankwench, I will always love you."
Origin Zed, early 1998.

SCANKY [adjective]
Pronunciation Skan Key.
Meaning Icky, but not in the way most people use "skanky".
Usage "I'm having a really scanky day." "The weather's really scanky today."
Origin Zed, early 1998.

SCHMATEVER [exclamation]
Pronunciation Shmot Ev Ur
Meaning Whatever
Usage "I've got a hoover growing out of my head." "Schmatever you say."
Origin Meaghan, late 1999.

SCUBUDDABUBUDDABUBUDDABUB! [exclamation]
Pronunciation A very fast Scuh Buh Duh Buh Buh Duh Buh Buh Duh Bub!
Meaning None.
Usage Good for saying when making a sharp ninety degree turn in a vehicle into a parking space. Compare ARUBA! and ISOBAR!
Origin Noj, 1 August 2003.

SCUMBOI [noun]
Pronunciation Scum Boy / Scum Bwoy
Meaning Hated male or object.
Usage "I hate my Internet connection! It's my scumboi!"
Origin Twi and Ven, early 1999, adapted from the teenybopper word "starboi".

SEATBELTS [noun]
Pronunciation Seet Beltz.
Meaning Toothbrushes, while still in their boxes.
Usage "Ah! You bought some seatbelts!"
Origin Zed, mid-90s. One night, Mum had come back from Tesco's and was unpacking the shopping. I was hovering, waiting for her to unearth some chocolatey junk I could snack on, when I noticed she'd bought some toothbrushes. "Ah!" I said. "Seatbelts!" She knew exactly what I meant, too.

SEE YOU BEHIND THE BARN
Pronunciation See Yu Bee Hynd The Barn
Meaning See you later.
Usage "Rigget. I can't think of anything else to say. See you behind the barn."
Origin Zed, 1998. Used now and again.

[SHANE] [verb]
Pronunciation Shayn
Meaning Hate. The opposite of [matthew].
Usage "I [shane] these example sentences, don't you?"
Origin Flink, late 1999. Since [hart] was changed to the cricketer Matthew Hart, its opposite had to be similarly adapted, to Flink's least favourite cricketer, Shane Warne.

SHOASLEY MOLES [noun]
Pronunciation Shows Lee Moe-wulz
Meaning Moseley Shoals, an album by Ocean Colour Spleen.
Usage Listening to. Frisbee, perhaps. Noj couldn't bear to own a copy, though, and gave his to Bigbagz.
Origin 1996, according a review by Alex Ogg in "The Rough Guide To Rock".

SHOOT OOP AND DIE
Pronunciation Shute upe and Dy
Meaning Shut up and I hope the Sushi Gods inflict some dire punishment upon you for speaking in the first place.
Usage "Zed and Bagot sitting in a tree!" "Shoot oop and die!"
Origin Zed, mid 1999, when retaliation to people's words became necessary.

SHWUG [verb]
Pronunciation Shwug. I don't know.
Meaning Shrug. I don't tknow.
Usage Shwug. I don't know.
Origin Shwug. I don't know.

SKATEGOTH [adjective]
Pronunciation Skayt Goth
Meaning A style of dressing where items favoured by skaters and items favoured by goths are worn simultaneously. I haven't worked out what skategoth music is yet, though, if indeed there's even such a thing as "skater music", other than "Heaven Is A Halfpipe".
Usage It's a slightly warmer alternative to dressing entirely gofficly.
Origin I've seen it in evidence since mid-2000, and I probably wasn't the first person to coin the phrase either.

SKELTERY [adjective]
Pronunciation Skell-tur-ree.
Meaning Describes a hill that you can't walk down without breaking into a run.
Usage "This hill is all skeltery!"
Origin Zed, 1988. I still like it.

SKISSORS [noun]
Pronunciation Skiz Surz
Meaning Scissors.
Usage Cutting things.
Origin Everyone in the English-speaking goes through a period of calling "scissors" "skissors". For Zobo Creat speakers, it just never ends.

SLIMES DISEASE [noun]
Pronunciation Sliemz Dis Ease.
Meaning The illness one is afflicted with after attending Slimelight.
Usage Reminding yourself that it's not such a bad thing that you can't afford to go to Slimelight more often.
Origin Zed, July 2002, after a mass outbreak of it.

SLIMEY HEAD [noun]
Pronunciation Sliem Ee Hed.
Meaning The other problem one has after attending Slimelight: not only does your hair feel greasy, but you have music you heard there stuck in your head and you can't go and listen to it since you've got no idea what it was.
Usage Causing you to waste many a month downloading all the songs on Slimelight playlist in an attempt to figure out what it was.
Origin Zed, January 2001, after being afflicted by it.

SMARM GLOP [noun]
Pronunciation Smarm Glop
Meaning Simon Gallup, member of The Cure.
Usage Give us a chance to? Please?
Origin His parents, quite a few years ago. Nickname coined by Twi and Ven.

(REIVERS OF) SMEGACY [exclamation]
Pronunciation Reev Urz Ov Smeg Ass Ee
Meaning Heech! Blarg!
Usage "Come on Wycombe Wanderers! Oh, reivers of Smegacy!"
Origin Zed, 1996. Apparently there's a computer games company called "Reivers of Legacy". At least, I think they are, because they were one of the sponsors in "Premier Manager". Anyway, being in a "Red Dwarf" watching mode, I changed it accordingly . . . did anyone understand that? Thought not.

SMIFFS, TEH [noun]
Pronunciation Smiffz, Tuh
Meaning The Smiths, an 80s band.
Usage Depressing yourself?
Origin Manchester, 1982.

SMILL [noun]
Pronunciation Smill
Meaning Camilla, a friend of mine, contrary to all I say about her.
Usage Curing loneliness and dispelling silence.
Origin Her parents, late 1980. "Smill" is short for "Smillurrr", a nickname coined by Will.

SMINK [exclamation]
Pronunciation Smink
Meaning Darn.
Usage "Smink! It's another of these pesky example sentences."
Origin Roe, mid-1998, while playing pool, when things went wrong.

SMITH! [exclamation]
Pronunciation Smith.
Meaning Oh darn! Not taking Robert Smith's name in vain or anything, oh no!
Usage "Smith! I've just dropped my toothbrush out of the window!"
Origin Zed, 1997. How it came into being, I have no idea.

SMITHULAR [adjective]
Pronunciation Smith You Lah
Meaning Not really sure. Worthy of saying "Smith" of. The name of the band Noj and I were in.
Usage "People called Smith are rather Smithular, if you have to register them."
Origin Zed, 1996, when Noj and I realised that our old name, Splenison, had a rather dodgy order of letters.

SMITHULAR BELLS [exclamation]
Pronunciation Smith You Lah Bellz
Meaning Heech!
Usage "Is that an antelope I see in my bedroom? Smithular Bells!"
Origin Zed, 1996.

*SNAPE* [exclamation]
Pronunciation Snayp.
Meaning Ha! in a bitter fashion. Or, more literally, "I am going 'ha!' in a bitter fashion."
Usage In chat programs.
Origin Bryn, 6 July 2002. Zed introduced him to the word "*snark*" and then he started using it all the time. So he changed it to "*snape*" when she protested.

SNODDYLINK SNAILS TM [noun]
Pronunciation Snod Ee Link Snales.
Meaning Small plastic snails that can be joined together in straight lines. They come in yellow, red, blue and green and are a really boring toy, which doesn't actually exist. Some have a cameo role in Klefid #1.
Usage Temporary amusement on boring Sunday afternoons.
Origin Zed, 1996. Don't ask.

SNODGE [exclamation]
Pronunciation Snodge
Meaning It's Noj!
Usage "Are you on the Internet?" "Snodge, not me!"
Origin Zed, early 2000.

SNODLAND [noun]
Pronuncation Snod Land. You never would have guessed, would you?
Meaning Sunderland. Although there is a town actually called Snodland. It's in Kent and Bryn's Mummy grew up there.
Usage Taking up a valuable part of the British landmass?
Origin Zed's parents, 2001, when their son started at university there.

SOCK
Pronunciation Sock
Meaning It's ok.
Usage "Sorry I couldn't chat for very long, but my house has just turned into a giant battleship and we're having a fire practice." "Sock."
Origin Ven, early 2000, abridgiated from "It's ock."

SOMMAT [noun]
Pronunciation Some Mutt / Some Matt.
Meaning Something
Usage "Is this your dog or sommat?"
Origin Someone, yonks ago. It's not in the dictionary, though.

SPANNER [noun]
Pronunciation Span-nur
Meaning Apart from being the British equivalent of a wrench, a stupid person.
Usage "Using this word outside a Primary School environment will make you sound like a right spanner."
Origin Zed, 1989. Back then, in the days when no one knew that the harmless-sounding 'c' word was more offensive than the 'f' word, there were two popular insults: "spastic" (the talk given by the Spastics Society had quite the wrong effect) and "spacker" (which I've only heard once since leaving primary school: in 4th year, while waiting for Mrs Harrison to open the music block, by Paul, with reference to the upcoming elections for the student council - "I've nominated Spacker Ben.")
However, with a mother not afraid to get out the figurative soap, I was forced to seek an inoffensive alternative. "Spanner" it was. On the plane back from Portugal, I wrote a story where Strange Susie (of "Gillian Bammer" / "Essfur Snake" fame) had a garage sale and a bloke named Spannerman bought a heavy weight for a thousand pounds, mistaking it for a stereo.
In 1997, I found the very same term translated in at a website translating British slang into American. And now it features in a book. While there's no way I could be responsible for spreading a word across the nation, I delight in the fact that I coined a term identical to an existing one.

SPEELING [noun / verb]
Pronunciation Spee Ling (which sounds a bit like a Chinese name, doesn't it?)
Meaning Spelling
Usage "Mi speeling iz nut verry gud."
Origin Zed, 1999.

SPAYSHEL / SPESHUL [adjective]
Pronunciation Spay-shull / Spesh-ull.
Meaning Special, usually in a bopperish sense.
Usage "im a spayshel pritty glittery princess!!"
Origin Twi, Ven & Zed, early 1999, on looking at Bad Bopper Websites which really do use that spelling. Coming back into vogue.

SPICE [noun]
Pronunciation Rhymes with "dice".
Meaning As well as what is scarily, sportily, poshly and babyly enough ranked as the 101th best album ever, "Spice" is the plural of "Spouse", a word that fails to be in the dictionary because it's tradtional for people to only have one.
Usage "I don't suppose I've got space to list all my spice on my passport. D'oh!"
Origin Zed, late 1999, after mass-marriages.

SPLERD [exclamation]
Pronunciation Splird
Meaning Darn / That's unfair / Mimph / Blarg.
Usage "Whaddya mean, I have to go to work tomorrow? Flippin' splerd!"
Origin Zed, early 1999.

SPLERDWENCH [noun]
Pronounciation Splird Wench
Meaning Aevil or annoying female.
Usage "Zed is such an aevil splerdwench."
Origin Zed, early 2000.

SPLORRY [exclamation]
Pronunciation Splaw Ree
Meaning Sorry.
Usage "I've just turned your bedroom into a brothel. Splorry."
Origin Flink, September 1998. We were very random then.

SPLURDY GURDY [noun / exclamation]
Pronunciation Splur Dee Gur Dee.
Meaning Officially, an annoying repetitive tune that should played on small Northumbrian pipes. Usually just means "darn" though.
Usage "I heard someone playing a splurdy gurdy on a hurdy gurdy."
Origin Zed, 1997, while revising for GCSE Music. Listening to her "Sound Matters" CD, she heard one of these tunes, and it sounded like, "Splurdy gurdy splurdy gurdy".

SPONCH [noun]
Pronunciation Sponch
Meaning Annoying male person, or suffix to a word meaning this. The female equivalent is "spong".
Usage "You aevil gayk-sponch!" "You scank sponch!" "Dae it yerselph, wench-spong!"
Origin Will, mid-1998. "Spong" was coined by Roe a few months later.

SPRECHEN [verb]
Pronunciation Sprek Un.
Meaning Speak.
Usage Usually on MSN. "Are you still alive? Sprechen Sie!"
Origin Zed, 1999, stolen from German.

SQUIRDLE [verb]
Pronunciation Squr Dull.
Meaning Not an American pronunciation of a Pokémon, this means to lie in bed, moving your feet in circles.
Usage It sometimes help gets to sleep, but greatly annoys anyone sharing the bed, especially if it's cold.
Origin Zed and her mother, mid-90s.

SRACER [noun]
Pronunciation Srace Ur. "sr" should be pronounced as in "Sri Lanka".
Meaning Speed Racer, a cartoon.
Usage Entertainment, Flink would have me believe.
Origin Flink, early 1998.

STARBOI [noun]
Pronunciation Star(rrrrrr) boy!
Meaning Beloved male or neuter object.
Usage "I [hart] Zobo Creat! It's mai starboi!" "I [matthew] Hans Solo! He's my starboi! Literally!"
Origin Some teenybopper in 1998 or 1999, who created a clique called "starboi", where members put "Leo DiCaprio is my starboi" on their websites. The swans abducted it for purpose of ridicule, but, like so many bopperish expressions, hardly any boppers say it now, while we're using it in all seriousness.

ST(A)RG(R)RL [noun]
Pronounciation Starrrrr grrrrrl!
Meaning Beloved female.
Usage "You're my stargrrl!" (I'm sure this was a line in 'Notting Hill'!)
Origin The Swans, adapting from starboi, early 1999. Its greatest exponent these days is AevilSteve.

STARSONG [noun]
Pronunciation Star song
Meaning Favourite song. Starsongs are performed by starbands, by the way.
Usage "'Poison' by Alice Cooper is my starsong." (Ok, so you'll never have the need to say that, but it's good to know it's there.)
Origin The Swans, 1999. We're quite sad, really.

THE STEVE FACTOR [noun]
Pronunciation Thuh Steev Fak Tor
Meaning When someone likes you a lot more than you like them, and says so rather too often. Quite often, the person in question is called Steve, for some reason.
Usage Making people feel guilty.
Origin Zed, May 2000. Hey, AevilSteve, don't feel bad - there's no gesture sweeter than being immortalised in Zobo Creat!

STOOF [noun]
Pronounciation Stufe. Unless you're AevilSteve, in which case it's "schtufe"
Meaning Stuff.
Usage Plenty. Stuff is wonderful . . . stuff.
Origin Zed, probably 1998.

STRANG [adjective]
Pronunciation Strang.
Meaning Strange.
Usage "You're doing some work? That's strang. Is the world going to end or something?"
Origin Zed, 1999.

STRONGLAIRES, LES [noun]
Pronunciation Strong Glarez, Lay
Meaning The Stranglers, a 70s / 80s band.
Usage Quite good for dancing to.
Origin Chiddingfold, 1974. Name coined by Zed in mid-1999.

SUFFRIN [noun]
Pronunciation Suff Rin
Meaning Suffering, in a Bad Goth sense.
Usage "teh pane + teh suffrin r 2 much 2 take!!!! i melt in2 a thosand peicez ov toilet tissue!!!!"
Origin Twi and Zed, late 1998.

SUNNIG [adjective]
Pronunciation Suh Nig.
Meaning Sunny.
Usage "Es ist sunnig."
Origin Zed, March 2002. Well, while we're having words that end with "-ig", like "brillig" and "groovig", why not sunnig?

SUN PUM [noun]
Pronunciation Sun Pum.
Meaning Sunscreen, sun block, sun tan lotion, that sort of stuff.
Usage Apply to all exposed skin when out in the sun.
Origin Probably a few decades ago. The word was invented by Zed in Portugal in July 1993.

SURCK [verb]
Pronunciation Sirk.
Meaning Suck, as in, "That sucks."
Usage "This example sentence surcks."
Origin Zed, mid-1999.

SURPRISEMENT [noun]
Pronunciation Sur-prize-ment.
Meaning The abstract noun derived from the verb "surprise", in the same way that "amazement" is derived from the verb "amaze".
Usage "To my surprisement, I found that 'surprisement' is not a real word."
Origin Flink, late 1997. Used now and again.