BACHELORS [noun]
Pronunciation Bat Chul Urz.
Meaning Batteries.
Usage Powering electrical equipment.
Origin Zed, early 90s.

BALC [noun]
Pronunciation Rhymes with Calc and Talc.
Meaning Balcony.
Usage "Aha! Another bit of balc!"
Origin Noj and Zed, 15 January 2000, on doing jigsaw depicting three balconies, as well as Superman in a telephone box saying "I'm stuck! Get me out of here!", people with green faces saying, "I'm not Freddy" and "Hoppy? Is that you?" and other products of a truly sad individual's twisted imagination.

BAM! (1) [exclamation]
Pronunciation Bam.
Meaning Sound made in an explosion or a during cartoon-type fight, in which characters turn into a cloud of smoke.
Usage BAM! POW! MINT!
Origin Zed, 1988. She made it up before seeing it in any cartoons. Expired soon afterwards.

BAM (2) [exclamation]
Pronunciation Bam.
Meaning Suggests a sudden change.
Usage "Bam, I was obsessed with Mansun."
Origin Zed, 1988. Still used occasionally these days.

BAM (3) [exclamation]
Pronunciation Bam.
Meaning Sound of anguish.
Usage "I can't find my socks. Bam."
Origin Flink, early 1999. Based on Zed's word, it does not occur frequently but has the potential to do so when yau least expect it.

BAM, GO [verb]
Pronunciation Goe bam.
Meaning Explode. Or do something else that brings a story to a premature end.
Usage "Howler tasted so disgusting that Master Bam was sick and he went bam!" [Note: this is an excerpt from a story Katrina and self wrote in 1988. The whole thing can be read here.]
Origin Zed, 1988. Went bam shortly afterwards.

BAMMER (1) [noun]
Pronunciation Bammer.
Meaning Annoying person.
Usage "What a stupid bammer!"
Origin Zed, 1988. Disappeared shortly afterwards.

BAMMER (2) [noun]
Pronunciation Bammer.
Meaning Small chocolate sweet.
Usage "Johnny bought loads of chocolate bammers." [From a story I wrote in 1989.]
Origin Zed, 1989. Completely archaic.

BAMMERS [noun]
Pronunciation Bammerz
Meaning Trousers.
Usage "Today I am wearing a pair of bammers [and a t-shirt, yau perverted geen. And a jumper. And underwear. And socks. And a dressing gown.]"
Origin Zed, 1988. Luckily, disappeared shortly afterwards.

BEEK [noun]
Pronunciation Beek.
Meaning Bisexual geek.
Usage "Will is a beek!"
Origin Will, mid-1998. Never really caught on, since we liked "bike" better.

BEEP! (1) [exclamation]
Pronunciation Beep.
Meaning Indicates a swearword that could be used as an exclamation.
Usage "Oh beep. I've left my Geography homework on a train."
Origin Zed, 1989, after her mother washed out her mouth with figurative soap. Still in use a decade later.

BEEP (2) [noun]
Pronunciation Beep.
Meaning Person, in a derogatory sense.
Usage "Stanley was a stupid beep." [From a story I wrote in 1996.]
Origin Zed, 1989, again as an alternative to a swearword. Died out in early 1997.

BEEP OFF / BEEP ORFF [verb]
Pronunciation Beep Off / Beep Orff.
Meaning Go away. Get stuffed.
Usage "Now beep orff. Beep Mozart too."
Origin Zed, 1989. Another alternative to swearing and still in use today.

BEEPWORM [noun]
Pronunciation Beep-wurm.
Meaning Bloodworm, a delicacy fed to tropical fish, who are crazy about it.
Usage "Beepworm, glorious beepworm! Cold fish flakes and water!"
Origin Zed, late 1994. My strong disliking for blood and swearwords, made me replace the "blood" with "beep".

BEING LONELY
Pronunciation Be Ing Lone Lee.
Meaning Being by oneself and not liking it.
Usage "I don't like being lonely, but I'm about to be institutionalised so I'd better get used to it."
Origin Someone, centuries ago. The only reason it's part of Zobo Creat is that the Backstreet Boys keep asking their listeners to show them the meaning of being lonely. Well, here it is, lads, here it is.

BIGNESS [noun]
Pronunciation Big-nuss.
Meaning Considerable size.
Usage "That is a box of bigness."
Origin Zed, mid-1998, while working in the office at her parents' shop with Big Boxes.

BIKE [noun]
Pronunciation Bike
Meaning Bisexual geek.
Usage Good for insulting people who would throttle you if you called them a bisexual geek outright.
Origin Zed and Will, mid-1998. Derived from GAYK.

BLARG [exclamation]
Pronunciation Blarg.
Meaning Expression of annoyance.
Usage "'BLAAAAAAARG!' said the Aevil Wizard Rohan."
Origin Zed (& Roe?), late 1997.

BLAROGENS [noun used as exclamation]
Pronunciation Bla-ro-jenz.
Meaning Expression of annoyance.
Usage "My felt tip pens have run out. Blarogens."
Origin Zed, late 1998. Derived from BLARG.

BLEACH [exclamation]
Pronunciation Bleech
Meaning A cross between "bleh" and "heech". Therefore it acts as a suitable reaction to something both surprising and icky.
Usage Good for changing your hair colour and the Nirvana version is good to listen to when feeling excessively angstful.
Origin Zed. Well, she didn't invent it really, but doesn't know who did, so she may as well take credit.

BLEENDOG [noun]
Pronunciation Bleen-dog.
Meaning Annoying person.
Usage Noj is a bleendog.
Origin Zed, mid 1997.

BLEENDOG GANG, THE [noun]
Pronunciation Bleen-dog Gang, Thuh
Meaning The Bloodhound Gang, the group responsible for "The Bad Touch" ("you and me baby ain't nothing but mammals") to which I know all the words.
Usage Upsetting your parents?
Origin Don't know. Their fame is too recent for them to be included in the edition of "The Rough Guide To Rock" that I own.

BLICK! (1) [exclamation]
Pronunciation Blick.
Meaning As well as being a manufacturer of labels, this word implies that a thing / event that has just been mentioned is good or kewl.
Usage "Swansongs works again. Blick!"
Origin Teenybopper speak, a synonym for kewl. Abducted by either Twi or Ven in mid 1999. Still in use, with alternative spellings of "Blique!" and "Bleeque!"

BLICK (2) [adjective]
Pronunciation Blick
Meaning Cool in a teenybopper sense, i.e. kewl.
Usage "That neon orange gypsy skirt is sooooooo blick!"
Origin Teenybopper speak, abducted by either Twi or Ven in mid 1999. We started by using it to describe only things teenyboppers would consider kewl, but now use it to describe our own star-things.

BLOBBIES [noun]
Pronunciation Blob Beez.
Meaning You know those small bits of polystyrene shaped like figure eights used as packaging material? Well, them.
Usage Preventing fragile goods in boxes from being damaged in transit. Although they can amuse small children for hours, if you have enough of them in a big crate. Trust me, it was fun.
Origin Zed's mother, the late eighties.

BLOD / BLUD (1) [noun]
Pronunciation Blod / blud.
Meaning Blood.
Usage In Bad Goth Poetry. "I weep teh teerz of blud."
Origin Zed and Twi, late 1998, writing Bad Goth Poetry. BLOD is archaic, but BLUD is still common, and now used in all seriousness.

BLODE-ISH [adjective]
Pronunciation Blode Ish.
Meaning When you say "Yay!" a lot and feel blissfully, blissfully happy, just like Blode.
Usage Very good for the "Current Mood" box at Livejournal.
Origin Zed, December 2001, after being shown "Blode" between episodes of "Neon Genesis Evangelion". It proved the perfect antidote.

BLUD! (2) [exclamation]
Pronunciation Blud.
Meaning Expression of anguish.
Usage "I accidentally deleted my index page. Bludddddd!"
Origin Twi and Zed, early 1999. Adapted from BLUD (1), still used occasionally. The number of 'd's is proportional to the angst factor.

BLUDI / BLUDDI [adjective]
Pronunciation Blud E.
Meaning Bloody. Can be used to mean blood-stained or as a mild swearword.
Usage In Bad Goth Poetry: "mai bludi teerz melt into a thousand pieces on teh rser of my oblivion." In normal circumstances: "I'm still working on my bludi website."
Origin Zed and Twi, late 1998, writing Bad Goth Poetry. Zed is using "bludi" as a swearword more and more regularly.

B OAT [exclamation]
Pronunciation Bee Ote
Meaning Despite resembling a boat, if you try to go fishing in it, you'd better be prepared to get your clothes wet, for it simply means "ok".
Usage "B Oat, here's how not to write an example sentence."
Origin Zed, late 1999. Derived from OAT B.

BO-BIGNESS [adjective]
Pronunciation Boe Big Nuss.
Meaning Largeness, and to a greater degree than all other possible contenders.
Usage "Can you pass me the boxes of bo-bigness?" which distinguishes them from other big, but nevertheless smaller, boxes.
Origin Zed and her mother, summer 1999. I only asked for the boxes of bigness, but Mum misheard it as "bo-bigness".

BODICAL [adjective]
Pronunciation Bod-ick-ull.
Meaning Strange.
Usage "Est bodical. I've heard this song exactly once and I can remember every note of it."
Origin Zed, 1998. Derived from ODDNESS BODNESS, now not exactly archaic but never used.

BODNESS [noun]
Pronunciation Bod-ness.
Meaning Strangeness or "that's strange".
Usage "My monitor just went purple. Bodness est."
Origin Zed, 1998. An abridged version of ODDNESS BODNESS. Used now and again.

BOK [noun]
Pronunciation Bok.
Meaning Book. Especially an online guestbook.
Usage "Sign my bok or die!"
Origin Zed (& Noj?), 1998. Still regularly used.

BOOERS [adjective] [note the distinction from Booers The Exclamation, Booers The Noun, Booers The Other Noun, and Booers The Cat, Children's Television's latest icon.]
Pronunciation Boo urz.
Meaning Annoying, unfair, pants or generally unyojful.
Usage "This example sentence is booers."
Origin I got it from Noj in early 1999. Where he got it from, I dread to think. Still used a lot.

BOOERS [exclamation]
Pronunciation Boo Urz.
Meaning Mimph / blarg / you geens.
Usage "What do you mean, I can't dig a tunnel to the centre of the moon? Booers!"
Origin Noj, early 1999. Still in frequent usage.

BOOERS (1) [noun]
Pronunciation Boo urz.
Meaning Negative vibe merchants.
Usage "You're all a big bunch of booers."
Origin Noj, early 1999. Still common.

BOOERS (2) [noun]
Pronunciation Boo urz.
Meaning Small pink sweets, available in bags from Tesco. They also come in yellow.
Usage "Can you get us some booers, please?"
Origin Noj and my mother, mid 1999.

BOOKIE [noun]
Pronunciation Buck-ee.
Meaning Online guestbook, in teenybopper speak.
Usage "plz sign mai bookie cos its sooooooo keweliez!!!!"
Origin Teenybopper speak, abducted by Twi with Zed's support in early 1999. Rarely does the need to use it arise, but it's comforting to know that it's there for us.

BOX-WORTHY [adjective]
Pronunciation Boks-werthy
Meaning Important (literally, worthy of drawing a box around) or good.
Usage "This equation is box-worthy." "Have a box-worthy Christmas!"
Origin Smill, 1998, derived from the fact that her Maths teacher drew boxes around important equations. Not very interesting fact: there is a town near Cambridge (UK) called Boxworth.

BRAD! [exclamation]
Pronunciation Fairly obvious.
Meaning **** it!
Usage "Anyway, Brad. The battle is over and the war is won."
Origin Zed, 25 April 2000. I can't see myself ever using it, even as toilet paper, but its creation, I thought, was quite inge(e)nious. I'm forever saying, "Beep it", which mutates nicely into "B. Pitt". Hence, Brad.

BRADISTAN [noun]
Pronunciation Brad Is Tan. He must have been out in the sun.
Meaning Bradford, a relatively northern English town, or its university.
Usage Getting curry from.
Origin Chris, early 2000.

BRILLIG [adjective / exclamation]
Pronunciation Brill-igg.
Meaning Brilliant.
Usage "This story is too brillig for words." "Yau updated? Brillig!"
Origin Zed, 1998. Stolen from "Teh Jabberwocky", but given a different meaning. [In the original, it apparently means, "About 4pm when the tea is broiling."] Has recently come back into vogue.

BRIMAGEM [noun]
Pronunciation Brim-a-jum.
Meaning Birmingham, the second biggest city in England.
Usage "The rooms at Cambriolage University are better than those at Brimagem."
Origin Name for Birmingham among those who live there, apparently. Zed discovered this in 1997 and has used it since.

BROCKEN [adjective]
Pronunciation Brock-un.
Meaning Broken.
Usage "Mai hart is brocken!"
Origin Zed, 1997? Still used plenty.

BROWNS [noun]
Pronunciation Brauns. No relation of Eva, mind, or that company that make electric toothbrae.
Meaning Travels.
Usage "Here are some photos of me on my browns."
Origin Zed, 1988. I made up this aevil song called, "Where Are My Browns?" which, apart from that line, went, "Are they an aeroplane, a helicopter, Santa's Sleigh? And they took me to the USA." I held back the definition for a number of months, and when it was revealed, everyone thought I was dead clever. Hey, I was seven.

BRUNITY [abstract noun]
Pronunciation Bruh Nit Ee.
Meaning Brownness.
Usage "Can you pass me the box of brunity?"
Origin Zed, July 2002, when she had to distinguish between white boxes of bobigness and brown ones.

BUAZAAP [exclamation]
Pronunciation Bwah-zarp.
Meaning Despite looking like a town in Holland and bearing a passing resemblence to the comment a mentally-retarded eleven year old boy (apology for the tautology) might make upon performing a favourite activity, this means good bye.
Usage "O'm giong ti gi niw. Buazaap."
Origin Chris / Zed, 7 January 2000. It's vowel-replacement speak.

BWAHAHA! [exclamation]
Pronunciation Bwah-hah-hah!
Meaning An aevil laugh.
Usage "I have to go to lectures on Saturday." "Bwahaha!"
Origin Roe, late 1997. Still used regularly.

BYEZEBYE! [exclamation]
Pronunciation Bi-zee-bi.
Meaning Goodbye, to someone yau don't know too well.
Usage "I've got to go and clean my machete now. Byezebye!"
Origin Shwug, but Zed started saying it in early 1998. Is still in use today.

BYEZEEB! [exclamation]
Pronunciation Bi-zeeb.
Meaning Goodbye, to someone who yau've said "byezebye" to a few times before.
Usage "See yau tomorrow. Byezeeb!"
Origin Zed and Twi, early 1999. Derived from BYEZEBYE. Used occasionally.

BYEZEEP! [exclamation]
Pronunciation Bi-zeep.
Meaning Goodbye. Say this to someone who yau know v. well and care about deeply.
Usage "I don't wabt to go, but my mother will kill me if I stay online a second longer. I wabt teh rserz! Yau are mai starboi + I [hart] yau. Byezeep. Sniffle."
Origin Zed, mid-1999. Derived from BYEZEEB. Used regularly.

BYEZEEPSNIFF [exclamation]
Pronunciation Bi-zeep-sniff.
Meaning Goodbye, implying that yau really do not wabt to leave the person in question but have no choice in the matter, and are sniffling because of this cruel twist of fate.
Usage "Parting is such sweet sorrow. I don't know how if I can live without yau. I'll see yau tomorrow, if I don't die of loneliness in a pool of blud teerz first. Byezeepsniff."
Origin Zed, late 1999. [Notice how she gets more attached to her friends as time passes.] Still in regular use.

BYEZEWAY [adverb?]
Pronunciation Bi-zee-way.
Meaning By the way.
Usage "Byzeway, I broke both my legs in a car accident, my house fell down and I failed all my GCSEs. Another typical day."
Origin Zed, 1998?

BYUTIFUL [adjective]
Pronunciation Bih-YUT-ih-full!
Meaning Beautiful.
Usage "Och aye the noo! Isn't this a byutiful example sentence?"
Origin Noj's former Scottish art teacher (is there such a thing as Scottish art?), mid-1998. She is also responsible for over-use of the words "super!", "gorgeous!" and "collars!" (The last meaning "colours".)