THE FACTORY MAINS
Pronunciation Thuh fact-ree manes.
Meaning The fact remains.
Usage "The factory mains that my example sentences are always a load of utter rubbish."
Origin Zed, late 1998. I haven't said it since then, but it's one of the best phrases I noticed in the Zobo Creat section at the now-defunct website "Heech!"

FERK [exclamation]
Pronunciation Firk.
Meaning Beep.
Usage People have written entire books about usages of the "f" word.
Origin Zed, March 1999. In my poem File Paper I needed something to rhyme with "work" and "lurk", "jerk" and "perk" just didn't cut it. Which I was very pleased about, because I don't like words cutting up my valuable paper.

FEUN [noun]
Prounciation Fern, but in a very posh accent
Meaning Phone.
Usage Ringing people up with?
Origin AevilSteve, early 2000, although Alexander Graham Bell might beg to differ.

FLEEP! [adjective]
Pronunciation Fleeeeeeeep!
Meaning Flipping heck! Wow!
Usage "Fleep, this is a boring example sentence."
Origin Zed, 1998.

FLIPPIN' FLIGGET
Pronunciation Flip Pin. Flig. Get.
Meaning Extremely unfair.
Usage "Why aren't I allowed to stay up till 4am? It's flippin' fligget!"
Origin Zed, 1996. Used a lot in my novel "Gullibility And Suspicion" where none of the characters were permitted to swear.

FOOLFACE [noun]
Pronunciation Fool fayce.
Meaning Idiotic or annoying person.
Usage "Oh, I am a foolface! Oh, I am a goonbridge!"
Origin Zed, 1998. It has recently come back into fashion.

FRANCEY SCIMITARS / GERMANY SCYTHES / ITALY BROAD SWORDS / ANY_OTHER_COUNTRY_ENDING_IN_Y WEAPON_FOUND_IN_ANGBAND [noun]
Pronunciation She's really not worth talking about.
Meaning Britney Spears.
Usage What could you use Britney Spears for? I don't even think she'd make much a doorstop . . .
Origin Zed, early 1999, upon "Smite Me With A Bastard Sword Baby One More Time" reaching number one.

FRAUDIE [noun]
Pronunciation Frord Ee.
Meaning A cross between French and Geordie. Very similar to Gench.
Usage Communicating with French-speakers living in Newcastle?
Origin Zed, 1997.

FRILLIN' [adjective]
Pronunciation Frill In.
Meaning Thrilling.
Usage "Lace making is a frillin' business."
Origin Zed, 1998.

FUNCHIE [adjective]
Pronunciation Fun-chee.
Meaning Funky.
Usage "Funchie, he thought." [A line from Sir Jon Of Spam whose title character found it vastly amusing, for some reason.]
Origin Zed, early 1997, pronouncing "funky" in Church Latin. It remains one of my favourite words of the language.