HALP! / HEELP!
Pronunciation As they're written. Mind you, if you're on a sinking ship and yell, "Az thare rit tun!" don't expect an immediate rescue.
Meaning Help!
Usage "Halp! Zed's about to give us another thoroughly pointless example sentence!" Origin Zed and Twi, late 1999.

HEAUGE [adjective]
Pronunciation Hyowge, which is the official spelling.
Meaning Huge.
Usage Mostly by Sarah Cox on the Radio 1 Breakfast Show. "Here's another heauge dance chown!"
Origin Probably "TFI Friday". Became Zobo Creat in 1997.

HEECH [exclamation]
Pronunciation Rhymes with 'each'.
Meaning Eek!
Usage "Heech! It's A Snail!" [What was once the title of my website.]
Origin The prototype Zobo Creat word, this was coined in early 1997 when I said "Eek!" in Church Latin and Noj misheard it as "Heech".

HEECH [verb]
Pronunciation Similar to that of Heech The Exclamation.
Meaning To raise one's spleen in a friendly, angry or totally pointless manner.
Usage "On the count of three we're all going to heech our spleens." [A line from "Smackbeth", a rewrite of Macbeth by yours truly.]
Origin Zed, 1997.

HEELLO [exclamation]
Pronunciation Hee Loe
Meaning Hello.
Usage "Heello! Wie heiBt du? Ich heiBe Gabi."
Origin Zed, late 1999. No idea where it originated from, it just came into my head one day.

HEMPFIEND [noun]
Pronunciation Hemp Feend
Meaning Annoying entity. Usually Zed's computer or Zed herself.
Usage Sending e-mail, surfing the net and word processing among other things. My computer, that is, not me.
Origin Zed, September 1999.

HEMP SMOKER [noun]
Pronunciation Hemp Smoke Air
Meaning Aevil person, bird or pterydactyl.
Usage All the time.
Origin Zed and Noj, June 1999.

HEURGH [exclamation]
Pronunciation Varies between "hurrrrr", "hur" and "huh!"
Meaning A defeated expression. A cross between blarg and mimph. Or sometimes just how you say the HTML tag 'hr'.
Usage Dividing webpages into sections?
Origin Zed, 1997.

HICCUP TRUCK, THE [noun]
Pronunciation Hick Up Truk, Thuh.
Meaning Zed's parents' car, which contracts violent hiccups approximately every three miles.
Usage Getting from A to B, but it wouldn't cope if you tried to go to C in it. The water probably wouldn't do any wonders for the engine.
Origin Citroen, 1995.

HIZEEB [exclamation]
Pronunciation High-zeeb.
Meaning Hello.
Usage "/mode #swansongs +o MysticZed. Hizeeb!"
Origin Some swansinger, late 1999. In frequent use.

HODIE [exclamation]
Pronunciation Hod E Eh?
Meaning Despite the original Latin meaning "today", the Zobo Creat version means "oh dear".
Usage "I have spent my entire day working on my website. Hodie."
Origin Zed, 1998? stolen from Latin. Still used now and again.

HOT DOG! [exclamation]
Pronunciation Hott dogg
Meaning Yoj!
Usage "Keweliez! Rawkin! Blique! Hot Dog!"
Origin According to Meaghan, Hobbes of "Calvin & Hobbes" fame.

HRIGHT HNOW [phrase]
Pronunciation Huh-rite huh-now.
Meaning Right now.
Usage "And hright hnow for something completely different: an example sentence!"
Origin The Sex Pistols, 1976. Listen to "Anarchy In The UK" and you'll hear the word "Hright Hnow" at the beginning. Actually, it just says "Right now", but I like changing the words to that song. "I am an anarchist and I am an antichrist! I am an anagram and I am an anti-Spice! I am an anaesthetic, I am an anti-Pope. I am an anaconda and I am an antelope!" etc.

HUMV [noun]
Pronunciation Humv.
Meaning HMV, a chain store that sells CDs and videos and stoof. (Wonderance: does Ann Summers sell chains? If so, it would be a chain store in two senses of the word.)
Usage Getting rid of student loans.
Origin A few years back now, but if you think I'm going to try and find out the exact year on the Internet, you've got another think coming. Probably, "Oh well, I wasn't that interested anyway." The word was first spoken unto me by Bryn in late 2001.

HUZ BUCK [noun]
Pronunciation Huz Buck
Meaning HSBC, formerly known as Midland Bank.
Usage Getting money you don't have out of.
Origin Bryn, 2000. Very useful when trying to sing an up-to-date version of the second song on the Manic Street Preachers first album. "Natwest! Natwest Barclays HSBC Lloyds" doesn't scan at all, but "Natwest! Natwest Barclays Huz Buck Lloyds" does.