(Written with a little help from En, mostly along the lines of "You can't put that!", and B, mostly along the lines of "Can we do it there?")


1. Rutherford College. It's like a labyrinth, which makes it impossible to find any given location within it. Therefore, it is unlikely that anyone will ever encounter you during fornication.

2. On the roof of Keynes college. Why? Apparently En just stared out of the window and thought, "Wouldn't it be cool?" Yes, v. cool, especially in winter.

3. Behind the big black box thingy at the front of Cinema 3. Preferably during a porn film, so the noises you make aren't too noticeable.

4. The Niteline office - there's beds, it's against the rules and there's enough condoms there to last you a decade.

5. The Templeman Library. This has apparently been done, although this was in the days when it was shaped like a maze. However, how often is anyone likely to venture between the dusty shelves? We're students! The quest for boring books only occurs when it is necessary to work, which never occurs more than twice a term.

6. The dancefloor at The Venue (which has apparently also occurred). Hey, there's a night called Horny when the music's so bad, you'd have to engage in more enjoyable appropriate activities to get your money's worth.

7. The Banking Hall. During rag week, someone changes the 'a' to an 'o' (the first 'a' obviously - 'Banking Holl' would look a bit odd, like me). The opportunity must be taken!

8. Inside Barclays bank. No one ever goes in there; we're students, why would we ever want to pay in money? The cash machines aren't a good place, though: the withdrawal method isn't particularly effective.

9. The Travel Agents: also deserted as no one can afford to travel. But this way you can go far.

10. One of the exercise machines at the gym (the Cybex Leg Curl one would probably work well, for doggy style anyway). Get two types of workout at once, and make exercise enjoyable!

11. A dining room at night. Because the smell of rotting food is so horrible no one else would ever go there for any purpose.

12. The soundproof room at the radio station. Not only is it soundproof (never!) but no one's supposed to enter if you're in there. However, try to refrain from accidentally flicking the on-air switch . . .


Note: The Weird Sisters have not put any of these places to the test. After all, they are good girls, pure and innocent, upstanding citizens, who don't even think about sex, oh no! They hold no responsibility for embarrassment, trouble, pain or break-ups incurred by trying out any of the activities listed above.