Bryn and I had got back from The Twisted Wheel, but he decided he wanted to go back to Carlisle, so I took him. We wandered through the streets for a while, then tried to go home, but I was sleepy and my concentration was minimal, and I couldn't keep my eyes on the road. So we wandered around Carlisle some more, then tried again. And again. And again. Eventually I realised that this was just a dream (within a dream) and it would be much easier for me to get home by waking up. So I did that. Bryn was still in Carlisle, though, so I picked him up the following morning.

Dad had to drive to a hospital over lunch time, and I went with him. It was at the bottom of a hill in the middle of nowhere.

Bryn had his hair cut. We started having sex, and I decided it just wasn't as good when he didn't resemble Medusa. I decided to write a journal entry consisting solely of the sentences, "It is a sad day. Bryn has had his hair cut."

2 January 2002: Friends Reunited

It was the first weekend in December, and I was at home, although my house was at the side of Union Lane car park (another part of Brampton). Mum decided it was best for me to spend my days in the spare room, which I did, along with a dog.

On the Saturday morning, I set out into Brampton. On my way, I ran into Sae, and we conversed for a while.

I got back to the car park at about five. A girl (who, in reality, I noticed at The Twisted Wheel the previous night) called out my name. I worked out that she must be my old friend Yolande (who used to live near me). We went to her room, and hung out with her friend Jennie. Despite the fact that they should have been in their third year at university, they were still in their last year at school, and Yolande was worried about her A Level options. She was doing D&T. (Design and Technology.) She did an impersonation of one of her teachers, and I had hysterics, even though I didn't know him.

Mum had been supposed to give me a lift home earlier, but cancelled, she was coming home later. Dad phoned me and asked if I wanted to get a lift from some woman we knew. I insisted that it wasn't necessary.

I was planning to stay at Yolande's for a while, but I remembered I was meant to be playing in a Carlisle Youth Concert Band later that evening. We tried to make plans to meet again: she suggested the following weekend, but I remembered that I'd be in London to meet Sofie. In fact, I'd be at university for the next two weeks.

3 January 2002: Where Do You Get Off?

I was in a big hall with a lot of other people. Some people went round, putting hats on five girls and five boys. They wanted to put one on me, but the people wearing the hats would have to participate in a public kissing competition, which I didn't want to do. However, I was persuaded. Those taking part got on a train. The group was spread out all over it, and I wasn't sure where to disembark. On it, I noticed Bryn also wearing a hat. I was relieved - he could tell me where to get off and I could get off with him. We talked, happily.

When we got to the place, Gill was there, in a hat. "You'd better not kiss Bryn," one of the officials warned her, jokingly.

"Once I got to know him, I only went out with him for sex," she retorted, and stalked off into a corner to talk to her fiancé.

4 January 2002: You're A Star

Bryn and I were at Brussels Midi. Our Eurostar back to England left at 4pm. Bryn decided we should go to the Eurostar department at 3.40. I thought it was a bit too early, but I agreed. But we had terrible trouble finding where to go. At the last minute, we found ourselves on the right platform. We hadn't checked in, but it wasn't important.

5 January 2002: Drowning In Dreams

It was Bryn's penultimate day of a visit to me. We drove to a place where there were several swimming pools where games took place. We watched a bit of one, where the players had to drown headless people / dummies. While we waited to participate, two blokes turned up. A woman asked us what we wanted to do: one of the blokes insisted that we played this particular game. We paid for it and then got on a boat which took us to the swimming pool. It passed under a limestone bridge.

Before the game took place, the headless people were introduced to us. We got to watch how they became decapitated. But before the game could begin, Bryn and I received a summons from home, telling us we had to return. So we did.

We were about to set off again when we noticed a foreign girl standing on my house's drive. She told us she wanted to go to the swimming pool place, but had no money - the only part she could do for free would be to go under the limestone bridge, she laughed.

I suddenly saw an image of the layout of the place. It was in the shape of Europe, and the game would take place in Transylvania.

Bryn and I agreed to take her to the place anyway. Bryn was acting far too interested in her; I insisted that he stopped it and drove. (Why he was driving, I don't know.) He set off down the hill, showing off his gear changing ability. At the bottom of the hill, one should be in second gear, but he was in fourth. But when he tried to get back into first again, he couldn't. I tried to assist, but failed. Then the car made an ominous bang. The girl kept going "Awwww" in a sympathetic manner. We decided to call Mum for assistance.

13 January 2002: Computers Are Obstacles? That Sounds About Right.

Bryn said that the reason he'd been so nice recently was because he wasn't being himself, and he wanted to change our relationship.

I was taking part in a competition where the contestants had to race in twos along an obstacle course, which was in a snowy forest. It was televised. Me and my contestant chatted for most of the competition. There was part where you were supposed to climb over computers on desks, but I couldn't find space to put my feet, so I decided to walk past them. As I did this, an official woman came up to me. I thought I was going to be in trouble for cheating; in fact, I was in trouble for discussing things that shouldn't be broadcast on daytime TV. Shortly after that, I reached the end of the course ahead of the other competitor. There were two staircases down to the studio. I couldn't remember which took you directly to the actual finishing line, so I went down the first I came to. It was the wrong staircase, so I crossed the studio, only to see the other contestant descending the right staircase. I threw myself across the slippery floor towards the finish, but my competitor won.

Then we were to watch a song and dance routine performed by a few dozen people. There were no seats left for me, so I had to stand up, but I kept collapsing to the ground, so great was the pleasure the dance routine gave me.

14 January 2002: Two Paper Boats Chatting Each Other Up? Who Gave Me That Crack?

There was a competition to write a fandub for a 55-second-long piece of Anime. I watched it for the first time. It started off with two paper boats sailing along a river: one appeared to be chatting the other up. I had some good ideas for the dialogue, but when the clip finished I discovered one person in my group had written out the entire series of events and had come up with a funny dialogue for the entire thing.

I was playing a version of "Simon The Sorcerer" which I'd written a while ago. I couldn't remember exactly what had to be done on it, but it took place on a train, where you gained new items at every stop, and had to do the right things with combinations of items before the train would move on to the next station.

15 January 2002: Performing Arts Again

Me and about eight other people, including Jo and ex-corridor-mate Matt were involved in this activity, where you all had roles, and you took it in turns to start conversations with other people. You had to try and bring as many people into the conversation as possible, but everyone forgot about this. We were all wearing brightly coloured clothes: red, yellow or various shades of blue. When the person in charge of this activity asked for the next volunteer, I thought it was probably my turn, but I couldn't think of enough to say to the characters I hadn't already spoken to. So Jo took a turn and spoke to me.

I was to put on a performing in a large recorder-playing group. We were to play three pieces. The first had a really stupid title, and the third, Ibid and I had written. We kept singing it: we were particularly fond of a lyric that concerned taking someone into Barclays bank and demanding that they withdraw money from their account. "Nasty," Bryn commented. People, including Jo, kept asking me if I could make changes to the programme but I kept refusing. After a lot of practices, we performed. Dad was conducting. The piece began with nearly four bars of silence. It was in three time, but he conducted one-two, one-two-three, before realising the error of his ways. He started again, but far too fast. After two bars he realised he should slow down, but consequently everyone started playing at a different time.

It sounded terrible. I knew the piece off by heart, but my eyes couldn't keep up with the music and my fingers couldn't find the notes fast enough.

17 January 2002: I Know I Like My New Phone But I'll Get Radiation Poisoning At This Rate

I was looking at a book about William Howard School with my family. Someone turned to a page where there was a section about me (since I was the daughter of one of the teachers). Apparently, I was born in 1931 (this made perfect sense in the dream) with a condition that made me dribble a lot. Although I instinctively learnt to cope with it as I grew up, it meant I didn't like the taste of most foods. I finished reading it just as the page was turned again. I was fascinated by what I'd just learnt.

I was participating in a cross between gymnastics and a moshpit in a hall. It wasn't particularly enjoyable. (I blame watching "Ranma" before bed.)

It was 4 January, and the last day of one of Bryn's visits to me. Mum kept offering to take us to Omega Music, but Bryn couldn't be bothered.

Gill phoned me and for the next forty minutes she yelled at me about the problems with the rock society the previous year. Then she said she was going to talk about problems she thought ought to be punished by death. I asked if she wanted to speak to Bryn at that point; she agreed, and I handed the phone to him. He was actually glad she was being so organised about it. I saw his point. Then Trevor (one of Bryn's friends) phoned me and said he was really depressed.

Bryn and I went back to Canterbury. While I was in his room, I got a phonecall from Jo, who'd got back to my house. She wished me a happy new year. Then Unlit phoned. She was living with me, instead of Soppygit. She spoke about Christmas in heavily-accented English for a few minutes, and was about to talk about New Year when the phone cut out. However, I went back to the house the next day, where she attempted to teach Ibid and I ancient Greek. She went too quickly, though, and I decided to give up and eat the last piece of a chocolate cake Ibid's Mum had made, which was going stale.

18 January 2002, Dream #1: When Two Tribes Go To War . . .

Bryn's mother awarded me and Bryn extra points to spend on our Warhammer armies. I was quite frantically working out how to use them until woke up, and then a bit after that too.

18 January 2002, Dream #2: Yet Another Subscription

I was still going out with Bryn, but I was seeing Anna The Goth too. Whenever he was away for the night, I stayed at Anna's . . . well, tent. It was pitched in Park Wood. This situation made me feel rather weird. What did this make my sexuality? What should I say in my Livejournal? My only comfort was that Bryn was seeing Anna's boyfriend.

I went into Carlisle and arrived at 5pm. I knew Smill and a friends of hers would be there that day and I noticed them heading towards the Viaduct car park. I ran after them and they convinced me to buy some clothes in Marks & Spencers.

Then I went to a forest near Penrith to watch an open air comedy performance, which commenced at 6.30. During it, food was barbecued in front of the stage and people from the audience kept going to buy it. I noticed two carrier bags of mine near the barbecue. One contained what I'd bought in Marks & Spencers, the other contained some underwear. Someone picked them up, but put them down again when they realised what was inside.

The performance ended at 8. I returned to Carlisle, only to realise I'd left my carrier bags in the forest. However, I'd acquired some items there which needed to be paid for, so I took them to the cash desk in M&S. The cashier got out a decorated shoe box to contain them, but left me to put them in. She listed the items as she bleeped them. The last, of five, was a lifelong subscription to The Socialist Worker.

"Nooooo!" I said. "I don't want this!"

"You can cancel it easily enough," she told me.

It was 9am, and I was sitting at the counter in a café with Cam and two other people (who I knew, but I can't remember who they were now). We talked. Cam didn't participate in the conversation much, so I made an effort to include her but she still had little to say for herself.

I was in a computer room. Me and Smill were playing 2-player Bloxed on one of the computers. Bryn's friend Mark arranged for everyone in the computer room to play Bloxed together, so when our game ended (doubtless I won), I hit the key - "Alt Gr" which should have allowed us to do this. But nothing happened. I spoke to Mark, who'd grown his hair really long, about it. But he couldn't figure out why it wasn't working.

25 January 2002: Spar Might Be Expensive, But That's Ridiculous!

I was at an indoor version of Eurorock, held in Newcastle, with Bryn, Ibid and Soppygit. As one band finished their act, I did something that got me into trouble with security. They chased after me, but I managed to get out of the building before they caught me. I dashed across the car park beside it, and decided I was safe. I was wearing blue jeans, a Sex Pistols shirt and my NIN hoodie. I thought about removing the latter to make myself less recognisable, but decided it wasn't necessary.

I was doing some work. I did it on a piece of paper from the section of my ringbinder marked "Scrap Paper". But half way through it, I realised there was scribbling on the other side of the page.

I was taking part in a point and click adventure. Me and three other people had to try and solve puzzles in a mansion. Bryn and some others dealt with another house. My group failed to achieve anything. Bryn came round and said his group had made some progress though.

Four blokes of about my age were trying to write songs together in an Italian city. Two of them came up with half a song; the others wrote a complete one and insisted that it was their next hit.

I was walking along the road where my former workplace was, with Bryn. He asked me if I'd missed him during a short time we'd been apart. I said no. "It's all right for some," he said. He'd recently been to Games Workshop with some re-enactors, a nd "the moment I arrived, I wanted to leave again."

Back in Eurorock world, I saw a photo of everyone attending it. I was wearing a silly amount of make-up and a long purple leather jacket that didn't hang at all well over my other clothes.

I got on my bike so I could go and find some lunch. I circled the car park, which had a one-way round through it, then headed up a hill. It was surprisingly easy to pedal up it. At the top, I found myself at a junction, beside a German boy also on a bike. On one side of the junction was a Spar, so I went there. The German bloke followed me.

It had two storeys. I went up to the second one, where I saw my mother. I picked up a box of aspirin, two bottles of orange squash and two small Mars Bars. I took them to the counter. As I put them down, a boy put some newspapers down beside them. The cashier tried to bleep them along with my goods, but I told him not to.

Even so, my purchases cost £30. I asked if the cashier could check the receipt. He found an error - correcting it knocked the price down to £19. That still seemed like too much, but I couldn't work out what had been so expensive.

29 January 2002: Soppygit, Mark, Mozart And Bach

I walked into my house in Canterbury. My parents lived there, and were sitting in the living room. I was about to go up to my room, but they said to wait, and yelled to Soppygit. Presently, Soppygit came downstairs with her ex-boyfriend and two other blokes. They'd been having an orgy. I went upstairs, and found two half-dressed boys in my room. One was smoking a cigarette. They'd also participated in the orgy. Then I discovered six other blokes in Soppygit's room, who'd been having one too. I told Soppygit I didn't want this happening in my room.

Then me and one of the groups of blokes were to race the other group to Nodnol and back. The other group were sure they'd get there first, but we set off before they did. One bloke in my group was Mozart. He told me that J. S. Bach was in the other group. Then I understood why the other group had been so sure of their success - Bach lived before Mozart, of course he'd get there first.

30 January 2002: Wish-ful Thinking

Twi (who in reality has recently run away to New Orleans, to be followed there by her boyfriend) wrote a two line entry in her livejournal saying something along the lines of "We're downtown. We'll be home in twenty minutes."

She had also become involved with a religious cult. Her experience in it fascinated me so much that one Sunday afternoon I wrote a 50,000 word novel about it. I was later concerned that it was cruddy, but when I reread it, I found it was rather good.

Me and some other people were watching a bloke play a weird version of a bat and ball computer game. The ball was able to bounce off the bottom on the screen, and instead of knocking out bricks, it had to hit certain floating balls, which then got knocked around the screen, gravity affecting all the balls' movement. Rather like vertical snooker, actually. The cue ball, as it were, repetitively bounced perilously close to a cluster of balls, one of which he wanted to hit, and everyone groaned each time it missed. Then it hit the bottom right coprner of the screen and was flung violently towards the cluster. They were thrown all over the place, and the ball he was after ended up squashed under another ball which had flattened.

31 January 2002: This Is Our House, We Think

A babysitter took me and a younger girl to a house that belonged to some strangers, who were out. I helped the girl escape through a small window, but made a mess in the process. The owners of the house came home, and complained. I tried to explain myself.

11 February 2002: Battle Royale At UKC, Starring Soppygit’s Ex As The Main Psychopath

An event where you were entitled to shoot as many participants as you liked was taking part at a cross between Eliot College and my old school one Sunday night. It was some sort of protest against the authorities. I decided to go along (with Sleeve), because I could. I hadn’t had many feelings recently, and would deal with the emotional fall-out when it came.

I ascended the main stairwell at school, then decided the safest place to be was the computer room. There were several people there, some shooting, some using the computers. All the computers were linked together in pairs - and one threesome - so unless you had a friend using the adjoining computer for the same purpose it had to go unused. Some people got shot for taking too long on their computer.

I was really bad at shooting. One of my bullets hit the base of the wall then ricocheted upwards. Everyone ceased activity for a moment, to ponder over who had fired such a stupid shot. “It was me,” I said, laughing at my own inability, when someone voiced the question. However, I did manage to shoot a few people.

At certain points we ducked down behind tables. I didn’t think I was ducking into sensible positions. While down, I noticed people shooting at the computer plugs.

There were some people from my class at school there. They verbally abused me a bit, but I told them I’d had 100% success with my boyfriends, and told them where my website was, so they could understand me. I’d probably regret this the next morning, I realised.

The room started emptying out a bit, until only about eight computer users remained. One boy put his hand up, and I went over to see what he wanted. “What’s 1% of 1%?” he asked. I told him, and he thanked me. As I walked away, I noticed Ibid. “I can’t believe I just did that,” I said to her, since I'd been nice and I was meant to be shooting people.

“Shall we go?” she asked. I checked my watch; it was 4.30am. I agreed, and we set off towards the exit. It occurred to me that I’d killed about ten people.

Suddenly, we ran into Mr Erpen, Soppygit’s ex. He stood very close to us, and gave us a terrifying look of hatred for a few seconds. Then we broke into a run. “To the girl’s toilets!” I shouted. They were where my corridor was last year. There were four cubicles; we went into the middle two.

We heard people entering the others. “I don’t believe they’re girls,” Ibid said. I was about to suggest asking them if they were on Mr Erpen’s side, when I noticed one staring down at me: she’d climbed over the walls dividing the cubicles.

They were on his side. They wore too much make up and had horrible scraped-back hair. They started shaving our faces with blunt razors. We could hear two other girls outside the cubicles, laughing like nails on a blackboard.

However, they started to tell us about themselves as they worked. Mine told me that her best friend had died when she was thirteen. I knew she was going to go on to say how she became tough after that, but I said, “So at least you understand me, right? I’ve had a really bad fortnight” and told her what had happened in it. The vigour left the attack, and Ibid and I managed to sidle out of the toilets, keeping the girls talking.

The next day, I was in the entrance hall of Keynes College. I saw Bryn coming towards me, but first Diane, who was in the year above mine at school, came up to me and said, “I can see why you took part last night. I know exactly how you feel.” She headed towards Bryn. He picked her up and swung her around, then came over to me.

(This is probably the most terrifying dream I’d ever had. It wasn’t the razors, because I’d recently read a book about the Holocaust, in which that would seem a minor trial. It wasn’t so much the shooting, and the ease with which I did it. It was the terror Mr Erpen inspired; the most chilling fear I've ever experienced.)

20 February 2002: Honestly, I'm Not Bi!

I lived somewhere just north of Nodnol, and Helen was staying with me for a week. One day, I had to drive her to Sheffield and back. I was worried about the journey, but it turned out to be all right. At the same time, I was going to school. It was early February, and the week was being given over to special activities, for which we sat on a circle of chairs in a darkened room.

I met Nick Hornby. (This isn’t totally random, since I’m reading one of his books at the moment.) He didn’t like me at first, since I was also a writer, and I didn’t like football, but I gushed about how much I’d loved his books, and he was pleased.

I was lying in bed with Bryn. I asked him, “Will you ever kiss anyone else while you’re going out with me?” He said yes, because in a month’s time, Dave was holding a snogging and shagging party for re-enactors and their friends. Thinking it was just a snogging party, I said that was ok, because all the re-enactors were just friends. Then I saw posters for it and decided it was most certainly not ok. *I* was the inexperienced one, with the need to sow further wild oats, but although I’d be able to attend the party, I wouldn’t want to. I don’t even like kissing other people, while in a relationship. Bryn was determined to go though, since his re-enactor friends clearly thought it was ok.

It was a terrible conundrum, but in the end, I went along. First, everyone danced to cheesy-but-unfamiliar music. Towards the end, a black girl came up to me, and started snogging me. It was nice. When the music ended, Bryn told me that Anna had kissed him. I told him that was fine, but I wondered why she hadn’t gone after me. Then I caught a glimpse of my reflection in a mirror: my hair had gone crazy. No wonder only one person had wanted me.

I ran into Katie (who I went to secondary school with) and her boyfriend Gavin. They asked me what “chariot” was in Latin. I couldn’t remember; why? They turned into Catherine (who I was at primary school with) and her boyfriend (who I just invented). They told me there was going to be a Latin competition. Re-enactors had to pay one pound to enter; non-re-enactors £5. They weren’t re-enactors.

Bryn had wandered off to listen to music on his mobile phone. Suddenly a competition began, where you were given incomplete maps of certain towns and countries, which you had to improve as best you could. The towns were Newcastle and somewhere else; the countries Greece and what looked like Australia but turned out to be Canada. I went to get Bryn to assist me in this quest. We didn’t have enough time to finish. Someone started describing the way Newcastle should have been: I’d got it wrong, and was annoyed, because I’d probably been to Newcastle more recently than anyone.

After the party, I was walking through some streets with Soppygit and Ibid. Ibid said, “I wish I could kiss you.” I tried to reach over and kiss her, but she backed away.

23 February 2002: The Truth About Arkam Asylums

I wanted to go to Slimelight and asked on Livejournal if anyone wanted to go with me. Annie S and Becca P replied in the affirmative. I went to check my mail (which arrived in a pigeon hole in UKC’s Computer Science department) and found an amusing illustrated letter from Coral, saying she wanted to go too.

I also had a letter from a travel agent regarding the cruise around America I’d arranged to go on. I suddenly panicked:

1. What if I didn’t like cruises and felt seasick?
2. Wouldn’t I get bored? Was it too late to try and get Bryn to come along too?
3. It was to start on 18th May 2005. What if my exams hadn’t finished by then - oh, hang on, I’d finish my degree in 2003. (Scary!)
4. It wasn’t going to end until mid-August, so I’d have to tell Syl, yes, 2004 would definitely be better for Swancon.
5. I vaguely remembered booking it. What if I’d done so in waking life, not in another dream?

Anyway, Saturday came and I went to Nodnol and met the others. Before Slimelight, we went to the cinema (which looked just like Cinema 3 - I wonder why? It’s not like I ever go there!) to watch “Monsters Inc”. They sat down at the end of a row, but I dawdled, and a girl I’d seen around on campus - I think her name was Emily - sat a few seats away from then. Then Steve Slimelight sat down a few seats away from her. I saw next to him.

I wanted to say, “Back again?” since I knew he’d seen the film a few days ago, but I refrained, as that would quickly reveal that I was a LJ user. He asked me if I knew the girl on his other side. I said, “Yes, but I can’t remember her name.” He said something to her, then started reading a book. The cover was an extended version of the cover of “Learn To Love Your Cancer” by Arkam Asylum. It was a text book about Arkam Asylums, which had something to do with insects. I couldn’t help but babble about how strange it was.

Then Steve and I were sitting in the living room of his parents’ house, which contained wicker chairs and very little else. We were with his parents, Bryon and a goth girl in her mid-twenties. We all talked for a while. I desperately wanted to reveal that I was pelicanzed, but forced myself to refrain. Steve’s Mum asked if the cruise I was going on would take me to a certain island off the west coast of America. I wasn’t sure. Eventually, Steve’s parents said they were going to make lunch. I noticed that it was 11.50am. I asked for orange squash for Annie, Becca and Coral.

Then I was swimming at the bottom of a waterfall in a cross between the river in “Saint Seiya” and that in “Lord Of The Rings”. (I refuse to sit through twenty six hours of DVDs or forty two hours of audio cassettes to discover their names!)

Then it was early in the morning, and I was in a warped version of my house in Canterbury, playing Warhammer against Bryn. Ibid was asleep upstairs, but I kept forgetting about this, and Soppygit was due to arrive at the house shortly. I heard footsteps on the staircase: I thought it might be the neighbours (since the walls aren’t exactly thick in here), but when I investigated, I saw it was Soppygit and Ibid.

26 February 2002: Every University Has An Identical Rock Society. You Learn Something Every Day.

Nick said something that made me want to leave UKC. So I did, and went to Bath University. I was very regretful that I wouldn't get to do something fun with Soppygit and Ibid in a couple of weeks' time, as Bryn had suggested.

I arrived a few days before most of the students, and was shown around by a Chinese girl. The main university building surrounded a courtyard and I felt I would never find my way around it. The girl and I attended Maths lectures, along with her friend. Then one day, dozens of other people started turning up to them. They looked familiar. Then I thought, Duh! Of course they do, they're my classmates from first year!

I wondered if there was a rock society. There was, but all the people in it had been at UKC. Nick ran it and Glenn and his friends were members.

16 March 2002: I Wear The Pants!

I was in a Kate Atkinson novel. It was a thousand pages long and concerned time. The last three hundred pages formed just one chapter, consisting of philosophical conversations between the two protagonists. One's words were written in white on a black background; the other's were set against a half orange, half green one.

Every Saturday, I bought some cakes from a market stall. Always two, and then some additional confectionary. After a while, the stall owner started to recognise me and gave me freebies. One week, I got £2 worth a chocolate; another week, £3 worth of ice cream. Someone commented how lucky I was.

I was bidding on eBay for a set of clothes. Every time I became the highest bidder, I got to keep the clothes. I had them when the price was about twenty pounds. Included was a black g-string, which felt surprisingly comfortable. Then I realised it was an American size twelve - of course it would fit loosely. I suddenly became aware that Twi was bidding for the outfit too. It would make sense for us to reach an agreement, so we didn't increase the price to much, but how would we decide who got the clothes? The price went up to thirty pounds, but I decided to keep the clothes and wear them for one night.

It was a Friday. The DJ from The Beercart Arms was playing a set there that night, but Assert and an indie DJ were playing at Studio 41 (which wasn't where it should be and didn't look anything like it really does - it was in a basement, and Assert played on the stairs). The latter cost three pounds to get into, but I decided to go there anyway.

Nobody took the entrance fee off me until I went out of my way to hand it over. I danced to some unrecognisable indie songs for a bit - the only other person on the dancefloor was a black guy - and looked out for Laura. I didn't particularly want to stay for long - I'd left my very expensive coat on a chair and feared for its safety. Some Chinese guy I'd seen a few times before came up to me and showed me his thumb. He'd written "Liddo Kun" on it. This was his username for a mailing list we were on with three other people. Someone near me said, "I wish I'd done that."

Catherine who lived on my corridor last year came in with her father. She was shorter than me and her hair was lighter than it really is. I was expected to talk to her for a while, but couldn't think of anything to say.

Assert started playing. After a while, I started to leave. Soppygit asked where I was going. I told her The Beercart Arms, and she asked where the advantage in this lay - was the music going to be any better there? I told her yes, probably. Catherine who I went to primary school with raced me to the top of the stairs. She won. Then, along with another girl, we started jogging through downward sloping side streets.

Suddenly I was on Oxford Street, although it looked more like Canterbury High Street. I had a destination in mind, but I ended up in an evil shop that I hated, which had featured in earlier dreams. You went in through several sets of swing doors, but it was very difficult (due to the number of customers) and looked down upon to walk out of them. Once inside, you went up an escalator, then down a flight of stairs to another part of the ground floor. It was a department store with an atmosphere that reminded me of Saks Fifth Avenue and it was very difficult to find an exit.

The last chapter of the book had just started by this point.

18 March 2002: You Get Around A Bit, Don't You?

I was talking to my tutor, when he suggested I should go to Oxford University to do my postgraduate studies. When I walked out of the Maths Institute, I was on Oxford University's "campus", where all the departments were located. My tutor had told me to go right, but there were no signposts, so I wandered around looking for some. There were a few really big ones, but none told me where the Maths department was. I was about to lose all hope of finding it, when suddenly I saw a sign.

I was in a villa in Cyprus with my family. A procession of six people, dressed alternatingly as strange white creatures and strange black creatures, crossed the living room.

It was a Sunday and Rammstein were playing in Newcastle. Dad was to loan them some equipment. One of his usual delivery people couldn't go with him, so he asked me to go instead.

When I'd finished helping set up, I hung around at one end of the stage. It was totally empty (aye, that makes sense) and the audience consisted of about ten seated rows of twenty people. Deaf and Stale were in the third row at my end, and we waved at each ther.

The gig started. The only person performing was a singer who looked like an older version of Thomas in the year above mine at school. He sang one song (which I recognised, but it wasn't by Rammstein). I headbanged. Then he launched into "Bat Out Of Hell". Members of the first few rows of the audience ran onto the stage and climbed onto the rigging above it. Already? I wondered. Perhaps they were jealous of me. One girl, who was quite small and wearing a black long sleeved top and skirt flashed her tits.

It was the following morning. I was in my final year at school. Mum asked me to pick up my cousin after school from the library steps. I assumed she meant the steps at the bottom of the school drive. Mum, Noj, the boys we used to take to school and myself set off for school in the Landrover. I looked at the clock - it was 3.50! Wow, we'd all slept really late. Why were we going to school now when it would have finished? I'm turning into Zarya, I thought: going out on a Sunday night and skipping school.

When we arrived, me, Mum and Noj set off for an open day at the University Of Lancashire (which was a lot further south than it should have been). On foot. The road was quite hilly, but we got through the miles fairly swiftly. We passed a sign saying "Welcome to Lancashire" and one about an hour later saying, "Welcome to Lincolnshire".

At the university, I was in a group of ten people. We were in a room with a lot of confectionary on a long table. Alice and Terry, who were in my year at school, were present. So was Lucy, who I met at a meeting for people in the Penrith area going to Cambridge. She was chosen to start eating first, but everyone else joined in immediately. I managed to grab a set of cassettes of popular classical music and most of a Mars Bar.

1 April 2002: Dreams In A Dream In A Dream

Ibid and I were in Chatham, doing some old person a favour. They said they needed some stuff from Margate. We went to Sittingbourne by train, first, to collect Bryn, and got dropped off at a junction near his house. Given the distance Bryn’s house was from the station, we debated whether we should go to Margate by Ibid’s car or not. She clearly wasn’t too fond of the idea of driving. Then I got confused as to where Ibid’s car was.

There was a meal happening, attended by Bryn among other people. Ibid and I turned up to it late. While we were looking for seats, we saw shoe-less bloke of Anime Society sitting opposite Bryn, deep in conversation with him. More or less as soon as we sat down, there was a toast and then the meal was over. Nearly everyone left. Bryn and two other blokes went to the toilet; Ibid followed them in there, not caring if about her gender. They took ages in there; Sleeve was hanging around, so I asked him to go in and check they hadn’t been clubbed to death by a mountain troll, or something. As soon as he opened the door, Bryn emerged though.

Bryn and I were playing Warhammer with 1500 point armies. Neither of us seemed to have increased our forces very much since our 1000 point armies; we just had bought loads of magic power. I was winning.

I was staying at Bryn’s house. Suddenly, all of his family left it, in order to do a chore.

Meaghan wrote a diary entry in which she said she’d a dream featuring dreams I’d had. I obviously found that too confusing and woke up, thinking it was two o’clock in the morning. Then I got confused by the sunlight and decided it was two o’clock in the afternoon. I couldn’t work out how I’d find out for certain, but in the end, my watch told me it was 9.

2 April 2002: Calling Bryn's Mobile From Bryn's Mobile

At the end of my first year of studying Mathematics, I decided I wanted to change to Computer Science. (Again.) If I wanted to go straight into second year, I’d have to transfer to Christchurch, so I did. I was meant to get a room there, but not for a few weeks. In the meantime, I shared a tiny room at UKC with Soppygit, Bryn, Rammstein Fan Ian and a German girl who was a few years older than us. Soppygit and I had the double bed.

One day, I went on a bus trip. Bryn went along too, although we weren’t sitting with each other. We arrived back in Canterbury at 6pm. The bus driver wasn’t sure where to take us back to, so he took as too Asda (which is miles away from everything). "Is this all right?" he asked. The passengers assured him that it was.

There was a rock night on at The Beercart Arms, from 6.30 till 9, so I made my way into town. I wasn’t convinced I was going the right way, but I got there. Afterwards, there was meant to be another rock night at some other pub. I’d heard rumours that it was going to be televised. I went along, but nothing was happening.

I went back to campus and used the bathroom next to the miniscule room - it was just like the one at my house. (Maybe I sleep walk?) While I was there, I phoned Bryn to see where he was, but got no answer. He was probably at the rock night, sans phone.

In the miniscule room, I saw Bryn’s mobile on the double bed. My brother was present and also trying to get in touch with Bryn, so he picked it up to call him on. "That’s not going to work," I pointed out.

I saw an advert, showing the manufacture of some pies / muffins. I MST3Ked it - "Now they squirt some horrible yellow stuff on top - now they stick another pie on top of it -" The next scene depicted someone trying to pick up the concoction by the first pie, and the bottom layer staying where it was "-a really stupid design." Then the advert announced they were called plum somethings. "Plum? Where’s the plum?"

I was in a primary school style classroom. There was an old fashioned computer by one of the walls, which had three programs on. One was a dating program. A bunch of girls had listed their names on it: some had also included their ages or forms, but there was no other information. I clicked on the S page, where someone had written, "I know there’s not many girls with names that begin with S, but here’s two, they’re quite unusual."

A text message from Jo woke me up at this point.

22 April 2002: Lost In America

Mum, Noj and I lived in Maryland, but went to stay with my grandmother in north Carolina. That night, we went to a pants metal club in Portland, Oregon, then got the train to Staten Island.

Also, I lived with Norman (a disgusting and disturbing acquaintance of Ibid), and a bloke who was in my brother's year at Primary School came round to my house to use my Chemistry set, so he could do experiments with banana, which was an element.

It was a Monday and I had a long French essay due the following day, but decided to go to the Beercart Arms that evening regardless.

5 May 2002: Where My Brother Is Rebellious And My Boyfriend More Geenic Than Usual

I was riding my bike through Cumbrian villages.

I was at home with my family. My brother got annoyed with my parents and ran off to Newcastle. I went after him, with the intention of retrieving him, then realised it would take me a bit of a long time to walk to Newcastle. So I sent him a text message. It was only two words long, but it took forever to write because the phone kept being strange. A little later, he arrived back with his three friends: two boys and a girl, all of whom looked about fifteen. He talked to my parents for a while.

My uncle and aunt and a few family friends kept visiting my parents at 8.30pm every day, for about five minutes, to make sure they were ok. One night, Bryn and his ex Gill arrived with them. Gill was dressed as she was in the picture on her website, and Bryn couldn't stop hugging her. I tried to join in on the hug, but failed. Bryn's friend Anna was also there and jealous of Gill. Suddenly, I noticed they'd all disappeared. I looked out of the window, but they weren't outside either. Mum told me that everyone had left. She was annoyed with these visitations, because the visitors' concern for us was evidently little, and in any case, she and dad wanted to go for walks in the evenings and the visitors meant they only had thirty minutes before nightfall.

20 May 2002, Dream #1: The Best Of The Downward Spiral

I was creating a compilation tape of the best tracks on "The Downward Spiral" by Nine Inch Nails. The latter had eighteen tracks on it (it only has fourteen in reality), one of which was "Wish". I was using a C90, so I have no idea why I couldn’t record the whole album, since CDs can contain a maximum of eighty minutes of music. I decided to entitle the compilation "This is the first tape and the last tape" (a modification of a "Wish" lyric), then decided that was a bit too pessimistic. I didn’t hate making mix tapes that much.

20 May 2002, Dream #2: Bavarian Transvestite: No, It Doesn’t Have Quite The Same Ring

There had been a booklet of poetry by members of my school year published. It had thirty two pages, and I flicked through, trying to find mine. "Mixing Physics With Romance" was on a page entitled "Comedy", but most of the pages were taken up by rubbish: one page contained only two poems, each only a line long. Then I found "Create And Destroy" on a two-page spread right at the back. Les, who was in my year, said to me, upon reading it, "I had no idea you felt this way. Are you all right? I was trying to call Katie all last night." (Calling Katie was equivalent to contacting me.) I assured her I felt fine.

I’d spent two years at UKC - doing foundation and first year Maths. Then I went to university in Germany to study English. I went into the lecture theatre for my first lecture. I was wearing my nun’s costume and some clothes of types and shades I’d never usually wear - khaki shorts, light blue knee socks - that Mum had given me.

We were able to collect projects we’d done for A Level Maths. I was disappointed with my mark, but before I could look at it, a female teacher told us to sit down. There were only about six students there: me, four other girls, and A Man Called Martin (who I'm at university with). I sat down near Martin. The teacher told me to move up, because a lot more students would be arriving.

Soon the lecture theatre was packed, and a man started lecturing in German. I could make out a couple of words, but I quickly gave up. I’d considered the possibility that this might be the case, earlier, but hadn’t paid it any more heed. What was I to do?

Part of the way through the lecture, he gave us an opportunity to leave. Me and the girls in my year and my online friend Ang, who were present, left. When we reached the corridor, we started protesting, although I got the feeling they weren’t annoyed for the same reasons as I was. It occurred to me that we’d be given the lecture notes in English - but in that case, why bother turning up to the lectures? What would I do with my days? The campus seemed to offer no thrills. I would go back to UKC, I decided, and do second year Maths.

We stood by a football pitch. At one end, some girls were kicking a ball about. "Hey, check out the trannies," Ang said, pointing at the girls. We walked towards that end of the pitch. On closer examination, the girls were rather tall and masculine looking. We both started to giggle, for some reason. Then we sported the goalkeeper who looked just like Frank N. Furter. We laughed loudly then scurried away before they got annoyed with us.

27 May 2002: I Dream About Girls In The Year Below Mine A Disproportionate Amount

It was Monday night and I was walking through Canterbury on my way to the Beercart Arms. I noticed Matt sitting on the streets where a homeless person normally sits. He was quite upset, and I stood there talking to him until 10pm.

Shanika, who was in the year below mine at school, was taking part in an athletics competition. She hung around in Eliot computer room a lot.

29 May 2002: So Goth She’s Dead

UKC had seven years; I was in fourth year. I was in Mungo’s, the restaurant / bar in Eliot College, where a talent competition was being held. The first act starred my friend Kika’s younger sister (who probably doesn’t exist), who was in first year and dressed as a milk maid, and a blond-haired bloke. They were performing magic tricks. Kika’s sister made the boy burst into flames and disappear. Then she brought him back. Then he made her disappear in a similar fashion, but when he tried to bring her back, first she turned into a bird, and then into an actual milkmaid, due to the way she was dressed. (Watching Red Dwarf polymorph-themed episodes is clearly bad for me.)

Also, Anna The Goth was dead.