I was at Hogwarts, the school in the "Harry Potter" series, only it looked more like a cross between Churchill College's bar and the bank of the canal in Port Colborne. There was a festival going on.

Rita Skeeter, the evil reporter, was interviewing myself (Hermione?), Chris (Harry?) and two unfamiliar people. Chris and I kissed, in order to give her something to write about, but the subsequent article revealed that he was going out with Cho Chang.

26 July Dream: Gay & Lesbian Studies

The start of university was approaching and I suddenly realised I was doing Gay & Lesbian Studies. I was very worried. What would everyone think of me and what if there was a practical exam?

I heard that there was a creative writing course at Cambridge: I should be doing that, I thought, but it was too late to change subject, unless I had another year out . . .

30 July 2000: Going Over To OJ's House

My online friends Sarah Yoj and Meaghan and I flew back from Austria to Newcastle airport. However, a few days later, the other two felt the need to go to back to the airport. "Why?" I asked. Sarah Yoj reminded me that we'd been given instructions to check we'd landed safely, and that it was worth a visit anyway.

Inside the airport, I found an abandoned suitcase. A label on it revealed that it belonged to Helen G, a girl in my former school year. I put it in the back of my car and we returned to my house.

The following morning, at 7am, we set out to OJ's house to return it (OJ being Helen G's boyfriend, with whom she spends large amounts of time). I parked the car a little up road from our destination and we headed towards it, me carrying the suitcase. It was very heavy, and I put it down so I could pull up my trousers, which had fallen down. A car started approaching me very slowly, and it occurred to me that the occupants must think I was a prostitute.

However, my attention was drawn to some youths on the right of me, calling me insane. I looked around and saw some tourists to my left, who had been asking me questions, but I had given them no answer. The youths picked up the suitcase and started throwing it back and forth, the clothes spilling out. "Now stop that and pack it up," I told them. "It belongs to a friend. If it was mine, I wouldn't care." Surprisingly, they agreed, and the suitcase, Sarah Yoj, Meaghan and I continued to OJ's house.

There was no one around when we initially arrived, so we sat in the living room, which gradually started filling up with people. I was surprised that so many were here, and that they had got up so early in the morning. I noticed Helen G and her mother, and tried to talk to them, but they said I could explain what had happened later, when everyone was present to hear my tale.

The people entering the living room got sillier and sillier. Boys in my year at school - Andrew, Herman, Roe, Will, Chris- "Oh no, what's he doing here?" I cried in dismay. Eventually, the room was full, and everyone was to sit down and listen to my explanation. However, Will kept beating me up. I made a point of sitting a few chairs away from him.

I began my story, but when I asked Sarah Yoj and Meaghan for some details, they got carried away and I had to interrupt them so I could take over again. Before I finished, everyone got impatient and started leaving the room. The boys dressed up as women: Roe made an especially good one.

Then everyone formed couples, according to height, and left the house to walk along the road. I was left behind, with only a few students surrounding a campfire and a singing rooster for company. I told the students to clear off, but they refused. But they disappeared anyway, and the rooster started singing to me. When it reached the end of the song, it revealed what it was sitting on - the eye of a large mechanical frog - and a teenage girl got out of its body. The house was filling up with people again, and the two of us started dancing, but I wanted to dance more wildly than her, so we abandoned each other as partners.

Ruth (Sarah Yoj's sister) said, "I want to show you something" so she, Beth (Sarah Yoj's other sister), Sarah Yoj and myself set out in a car along a busy motorway. There were road signs giving the names of people who lived in this house - three unfamiliar boys' names, one of which was Dennis. "Eh?" I said, and Ruth explained that OJ's house went on for three streets.

We followed the signs for Dennis's room, where we lay around for a bit, but when we started to fall asleep, we decided to return to the main part of the house. Sarah Yoj, Meaghan and I thought it was time to leave, but I told them I needed to find Will, Roe and Chris so I could ask them if they were able to take part in Operation: Online Friend Helen's Visit.

I found them in OJ's room, along with OJ, Tim (Chris's brother) and Craig (who was in my year at school). Roe was now dressed as a monk. I sang a dirge and whacked myself on the forehead in a Monty Pythonish manner, but they weren't amused, so I told them of the plan. Roe agreed to it, Will did to a lesser extent, but Chris didn't say anything. Then I realised he was asleep. I felt very annoyed and woke up.

8 August 2000: Zed Really Knows How To Party

I was having a party at Naworth Castle (where I used to live) although it wasn't my birthday. I only invited my cousin Oliver and Kate and Katrina (friends I haven't seen for years). Katrina didn't turn up and Kate was really short - she looked about seven. I didn't have any food to serve and Oliver (who was now my online friend Julian) suggested I made something out of heroin.

We played a complicated version of cricket in my corridor, until several goths started dancing in it. They invaded my bedroom too, but I didn't mind too much. Smill appeared and asked why I hadn't invited more people. "Who would I invite?" I asked. She made a few suggestions. "The students of Oakside High" was one of them (?); Emma (I girl who I haven't seen since I was eleven) was another. I explained why not. "Chris?" she asked, and I just let out a prolonged, "Arrrrrrrrgh!" She was very amused and printed out a computer-made card for me.

17 August 2000: Professor Snape Gives Zed A Manicure

I was Lady Macbeth, Mum was a friend of hers, and Dad was Macbeth. I had to heat up a knife, with which to chop off my husband's arm. (Well, father's. FREUD-ALERT!) It quickly heated to a dangerous level, but I was reluctant to do the deed. As the knife descended, I woke up, but soon fell back to sleep again.

I was in a salon that resembled the basement at Naworth Castle (where I used to live) and Professor Snape (of "Harry Potter") offered to paint my fingers white. "Why white?" I asked. "For a change," he explained. After examining my fingers, which were painted all the way down to the palm in colourful stripes, I decided to have the middle section of interchanging fingers painted white.

But Snape's first action was to cut off the top of my little finger. The skin grew to seal the gap shut, but I was in tremendous pain. "Oh well, I know all my fingers have to be cut off eventually," I thought, but then decided it was Wrong and ran away.

I was outside on a dirt track with people in my former school year. People started talking about a special program they'd been on as infants. It sounded so groovy that I became four again so I could do it.

I was running down the hill from Naworth Castle to get to my place of education, along with some other people. I realised my legs were longer and carried me faster than everyone else, but then I noticed most people were on bikes. I wondered if having one would be necessary for the day ahead, and Lesley Ann convinced me that getting mine would probably be a good idea. So I returned home to get mine. At this point I realised that I was dreaming lucidly and could find all sorts of monsters in my apartment if I chose, but I was far more interested in getting to school, so I didn't.

School was very weird but groovy. The second activity we did was an exercise in dream interpretation which involved spinning pale green cardboard wheels. "Far out," I thought, knowing I was already dreaming. "Those of you who are already dreaming raise your hands and open your mouths," the teacher said. My class consisted of eight people of all ages, and six raised their hands.

The next activity was a multi-person version of the completing boxes game, except the lines consisted of disembodied fingers of various lengths provided by the teacher.

I realised that I didn't really want to be here for another two yeas, so skipped ahead to university. It was my second day there; I woke up at about one in the spare room at my online friend Twi and her boyfriend Jeff's apartment and went to Maths. The lesson was interesting and easy, and after an hour and a quarter, me and my class went into another room for a film showing. It was a Sex Pistols video and Marion, who was sitting in front of me, asked me what the appeal of Sid Vicious was, besides his hair.

At this point I started to panic. This class was too easy - was I supposed to be here? Shouldn't I have checked the noticeboard to find out details about my lectures? Where was the notice board anyway? Why had I only been at university for one day and started classes already?

A nutritionist visited Twi and Jeff's apartment and criticised Jeff for having "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" in his fridge. I felt sorry for him, since I had put it there.

18 August 2000: Here's To Pantene!

I went to visit my online friend Sam. It was her last day of school and I joined her there. The final celebration involved having lunch on the school bus. Just before it set off, there was a toast to various popular hair care products. Then it departed, travelling along streets that formed staircases, each step painted in a different colour.

1 September 2000: Zed And Kevin Williamson: Never Seen Them Together, Have You?

I was a writer for "Dawson's Creek" (a show I have never seen) and Dec (of Ant and Dec fame) was the presenter for the sequence of children's shows it formed part of.

I asked him to appear in the programme. "But then everyone will know it's not really filmed in America," he protested (it was actually made in Yorkshire), but he agreed as long as I was in it too.

And so we were outside this large school. He started rambling to the viewers about how he was there by magic, while the characters chatted to me. "You don't mind me being so annoying, do you?" said a disturbingly skinny blonde. "Oh no, not at all," I said.

2 September 2000: You Have Won Second Prize In A Beauty Contest

Chris and I were to go and see to see Alice Cooper for the third time. He agreed to stay at my house afterwards, on the grounds that we got to play the BBC Master game "Hunchback". I went online to try and find a copy to download, but got distracted by reading information about fire safety.

Twi and I were taking part in a beauty contest in a dilapidated school. Twi got really annoyed with all the other contestants and her boyfriend Jeff threw clothes at them. Eventually, she won and I came second. Naturally, I was pretty amazed, but the prizes were a bit disappointing: two children's books, one of which I'd already read.

4 September 2000: Shoot Me Now

It was the first day of Upper 6th. I was having a good gossip with a few people, when someone seized the hat I was wearing and filled it with bullets. When I put it on again, one got fired. I survived, but started ranting about the stupidity of this act in a Scottish accent.

5 September 2000: Flink The Psychotic Murderer

I heard on the radio that my online friend Flink had been arrested for killing her first boyfriend for no apparent reason. "So that's why she hasn't been updating her journal lately," I thought.

7 September 2000: Chris Is An Extra In A Horror Movie

My parents, Chris and I were in my room. My parents said, "We'll leave you to it" (nudge nudge wink wink) but nothing happened. Instead, I found myself in a horror movie, in which I lived in a cabin with three other young people. I knew who the killer would be - a forty nine year old woman - but when she started talking to me over ICQ, I answered all her questions.

Monday 11 September 2000: We're Off To Button Moon!

My family were going into space for a night, with Fran (a former online acquaintance) and some other bloke. We took a lot of furniture with us (including the dishwasher and the fridge) and plenty of food. Mum drove Noj and I towards Carlisle and turned off to Linstock.

"I've never been here before," Noj breathed.

"Look, Carlisle's all black and white from here!" I said, pointing at the landscape that certainly wasn't Carlisle, since it contained big metallic buildings. Then I realised I was just seeing grey bits against a white sky, and we were at Carlisle airport (only it looked like Newcastle): of course we'd been here before!

Just inside Noj and I noticed a girl with strawberry blonde hair announcing that her name was "Unit Scully". This was Fran, we told our mother.

We went to a card shop, where Mum was looking for a 10th birthday card for Noj, even though he was fifteen in the dream. She couldn't find any suitable, but we all had a good laugh. An earnest-sounding American man expressed his opinion on the matter.

Then Noj really was ten, and he, I and a twelve year old girl were in a library. The other two had to decide on one book to get, and argued. Couldn't they just take both out? I wondered, but apparently not. The girl thought her book would be better for everyone, but my parents disapproved of the content. When I saw the cover, I said, "I've read that, it's useless." "It doesn't look useless," she said. "Well, I liked it too, but the second reading I got totally disgusted," I said.

14 September 2000: Showers In A Tower

My online friend Helen and I climbed to the top off one of the towers of Naworth Castle, where we had showers. She kept insisting that Chris was in my shower, and I got really annoyed with her.

17 September 2000: The Fish Dream - Again

I was trying to do a mathematical problem. You had to put numbers into a hexagonal grid such that each was two more or one less than the number below it. I thought I'd completed it, but there was a mistake. However, to correct it involved bubbles, balloons, colouring in squares and consulting the fish tank.

Doing the latter, I saw a black and orange feather in the corner. Ah, the snaily fish must be shedding its colour, I thought, and sure enough, a bit of further looking revealed a naked-looking grey/brown fish. I saw some other fish I didn't recognise.

18 September 2000: I'll Need A Sex Change Operation Before I Can Get A Boyfriend

I went to stay with a (non-existent) penpal in Singapore called Chong someone. She was a year older than me and had an older brother, who liked mountain climbing.

I was at school, only it was just a big room with very little in it. Someone was annoying me very much and the teacher present wanted to expel him, but needed an opportunity. She got one when he removed one of the light bulbs.

A few girls I knew had evil twins. One worked in a police station.

I went to Asda on my own. I did my shopping then returned to the car, to find three people (who were quite a bit older than me) getting into it. I pointed out that it was my car, and they apologised, but still expected to be able to travel home in it. They lived very near the supermarket, but I still thought, "Cheeky geens!"

I was a gay bloke at university. My boyfriend went home for five days and when he returned, his personality had changed significantly.

21 September 2000: AevilSteve And Catherine In Wuv

All the air and empty ground was removed from UKC, which meant everything was much closer together.

AevilSteve and I were working for the same company. I discovered he was going out with Catherine, my corridor mate.

30 September 2000: A Really Interesting Dream

Mum gave me a pair of nail clippers.

2 October 2000: A Really Inaccurate Dream (Thankfully)

I heard that aerobics lasted an hour and a half instead of an hour, and Chris had split up with Michelle. I felt really upset, about both.

5 October 2000: The Death Of A Phone

Five people in my school year were living in Eliot College (part of UKC) and five others were living in Keynes College (ditto). Those of us in Eliot went to see those in Keynes, but I left after everyone else. Keynes College was a rainy street with a cinema showing a different film every two buildings. Feeling very lost, I decided to phone someone, but my mobile phone had turned into a Tamagotchi which died.

Later on, it was a Tuesday night and my parents were taking me to the cinema to see the latest box-office hit. I wanted my friend Soppygit to come along, but she was busy.

I suddenly remembered that Glenn (Sarah Yoj's boyfriend) had been at my home for three consecutive afternoons last December, except it had been at Naworth Castle.

Tuesday 17 October 2000: The Sports Centre Really Is Miles Away

Matt (my neighbour) and Bryn were in Matt's room, complaining about Catherine (my corridor mate) listening in on them when they had sex. (No, not with each other.) Seated near the exit of my room next door, I felt a bit bad for listening in on this conversation, but they did have the door open.

It was Monday lunchtime and Catherine and I were to go to aerobics, but it was several miles away. Usually, Bryn gave me a lift there, but he couldn't today. However, Catherine explained how to get there.

I was on a big industrial estate with Katrina and another girl. We talked and went shopping. I bought lots of stuff, including a book by Ben Hatch, which looked a lot more appealing than I'd expected. Katrina and the girl left and I went to the bus stop and waited.

I was staying in Twi's apartment, only my mother lived there. When I suddenly realised it was 19 August and I would leave the country the next day. I thought, "Should I feel sad?" But when my mother started nagging about someone always leaving the lid off the ice cream tub, I decided I shouldn't.

20 October 2000: Bryn Is Insane. Why Do I Fancy Him?

There was a mental hospital opposite the end of Downs Road (where Bryn lives). Inside, it looked a bit like The Venue (UKC's nightclub). Soppygit, Mr Street and I only needed to stay there for one night, but Bryn was in there for twenty eight days.

21 October 2000: The Alice Cooper Effect

The entire rock and metal society turned up at my house. My mother wasn't very happy, so I ran round to a neighbour's house where we had a sing song. Then I went into Canterbury with Soppygit and Ibid, but I got separated from them, looking at a market stall where I found a decapitated doll's head in a paper case.

1 November 2000: Dead From The Waist Down

I had just started at a new school, where I would be for the next three years, and a library bus had come round. I picked up a leaflet about the environment and my interest in it was immediately pounced upon. Before I knew it, I had been made editor and chief fundraiser for a termly environment magazine for the next three years. I had my photo taken in a pub, but the rest of the tasks (one of which was raising a million pounds) were daunting and time-consuming.

My penpal Nicky and I became twins, which meant that every day, we would lose one sense until we died. We had already lost our taste (well, that's evident, judging by my liking for Bryn) and then we lost the ability to walk and had to travel around in mobile beds. I was in a room that vaguely resembled the upstairs of The Venue, only it a lot lighter, and I managed to move the bed up some steps to the bar. From the same barmaid who had taken the photo, I bought a drink and some ice cream. (Disregard the fact that I don't eat ice cream, and in any case, I wouldn't be able to taste it.) It cost nearly £5 - expensive, but I was going to die anyway, so I didn't mind too much. I tried to swing my legs out of bed - I did have feeling in them, but they hurt a lot.

Nicky and I were worried about what sense would go next - sight, touch or the ability to dream. I hoped it would be the latter, but when I considered, nothing about the situation was terribly bad. Dying didn't worry me, and at least I'd get out of having to make the flipping magazine.

(Bryn's comment: "You didn't have any sense to start with." I hit him.)

19 November 2000: Suicidal Tendancies

My brother, Katrina's brother and Twi's brother were all dead and I had to tell my Mum about it. I was in the building where I used to go to playgroup, which was where Becket Court (part of UKC) is. I went outside and jumped onto the nearby railroad track. A railway official insisted that I left it and walked through Brampton / campus. I reached the other side where I was joined by Bryn and felt better.

20 November 2000: Huh?

My brother went to a rock night club in Carlisle.

29 November 2000: More Problems With British Rail

I was at Green Park tube station in London, only it looked more like St. Pancras and was called "South Park". I tried to edge my way round the end of the track, but the floor was slippery and I nearly fell onto the line.

My family were living in Sorby Hall (my online friend Helen's hall of residence) along with its usual inhabitants. I was meant to be taught card tricks by some bloke in a tower room, but I was scared of him and ran away. I found Helen's floor, and talked to her corridor mates, but she wasn't around.

30 November 2000: Return To Hogwarts

I, along with fifty other people, won a weekend in Hogwarts Castle to get a sneak preview for Harry Potter book five. It didn't look anything like I'd imagined Hogwarts - or Durham Cathedral (where it's being filmed), for that matter. It was a big draughty dark Macbeth-style castle. I heard words being whispered on the wind, and thought, "Yes, this is spooky."

For most of the weekend, however, some bloke who kept taking his clothes off and putting them back on again kept hanging around with me.

16 December 2000: Forever Blowing Bubbles

Featured an attempt to have oral sex in a bath in a computer game, which was a cross between Lunatix Online and Angband.

17 December 2000: In Which The Bath Is Used For Less Dodgy Purposes

I was walking through Sheffield with Natalie (who was in my year at school) and Catherine and Charlie (corridor mates). We went through shops and Natalie wanted to buy a pair of red dungarees.

In our corridor's bathroom, Catherine told me that she'd missed all the films she was supposed to see for her course, and the remaining ones were all really pants.

I had a bath, and afterwards tried to empty it by flushing it out with other water. When the water level didn't seem to be getting any lower, I noticed that the plug was in, pulled it out, and the water drained away. I noticed that the bath was placed on a v. muddy, thin blue plastic mattress, on which I found my Algebra notes.

20 December 2000: Vampires And Bands (Not Quite Poppy Z. Brite Standard, Though)

I was in Carlisle with Will. We went to W H Smith, which had changed its location, and browsed for about two hours. Then a former classmate of ours asked us how to get to a certain shop. The three of us went outside; then Will took him in the right direction, leaving me to go back inside. But I couldn't work out how to. I wandered around, consulting passers by on what to do, but no one knew. It was getting dark and I was scared.

My parents had gone on holiday to an island in the Mediterranean. Noj and I were to join them the following day, but someone at the hotel phoned us, warning us that there were vampires staying there, and we should remain in England. A few days later, however, they said the vampires had gone, so we travelled to the hotel, only to discover that the vampires had merely evacuated their room and were still present.

A long-winded chase followed. The only bits I can remember were:
1) Walking around a park with a bloke slightly younger than me, going to the cinema with him, and being kicked gently in the back throughout the film.
2) A car pulling up in front of the pavement I was standing on, a bloke throwing himself out, and me leaping in.
3) Discovering that all the danger had been for a Lego person I owned, not me, and finding her happily living in a Lego house by a lake with two small Lego children. The three of them were dressed in black, and her daughter had a medical defect. I discovered that this could be cured by having all the hairs pulled out of my back. (?) It felt surprisingly pleasant.

On the last day of term, I went to a party along with some other UKC students and some much younger kids. It was in a big hall split into two rooms. "This is the Reef room," someone told me. "It's only good when you can see the band."

I looked around. A familiar song was blasting from somewhere, and people were dancing to it, and there was a raised platform in the middle of the room, that looked like a band should be standing on it. But if anyone was there, they were invisible. (This seemed a plausible enough explanation at the time.)

I danced for a while, but kept crashing into people. Then everyone started to sit down in a corner. A seven-year-old girl in a rainbow striped dress handed me a petition to sign. It had about twenty names on it - Bryn's was there, as was the little girl's, which was Billie H*******. (I felt very sorry for her - named after an evil singer and having to share a surname with Bryn, poor thing.) My name wasn't present, but I'd signed a petition for the same cause (getting rid of vampires), so I tried to give it back, but the girl had disappeared. "She's gone to get some food," one of her friends explained.

Everyone was bored. A Beatles song started playing, but no one danced, so the music was turned off. After a while, several people left, but all the people who I knew remained. Katrina (who was a second year at UKC and going out with a bloke called Peter). Janan (who had dyed her hair in rainbow streaks). Chris. Someone from The Organisation Which Must Not Be Named. They talked, but whenever I tried to join in the conversation, they ignored me. After a while, we left too and got on a coach back to UKC. One of us had to write about the event, and I begged to be allowed to do so.

Someone pointed out that Bryn was on the front cover of NME. Indeed he was, wearing chain mail, along with about twenty other people, protesting about Aerosmith's new musical direction.

Chris phoned me and told me to meet him in Carlisle at 12.15. I didn't really want to go and said, "I might not make it by then."

Monday 25 December 2000: The Fish Dream, In More Ways Than One

I had three fish, one of which was a white molly. I got a new one, a large blue and red neon. Within a few days, it started having babies, which were born large and alive. I remember that the white molly had also had babies a few days ago, but they hadn't survived, due to the water filter being broken.

I was playing a board game which was a cross between Angband and Cluedo, with a few other people. The aim was to get round the board as quickly as possible, doing God-like things. Whoever got round first was God.

I was standing on a stage / in a pulpit, in a big dark hall where rock music was playing and people were ballroom dancing. They called me God, but I insisted I was "Cod" instead. They tried to kiss my feet and legs, but I said, "It's new year's eve, you should be kissing each other." With that, they left me alone.

26 December 2000: Soppygit Turns Into Smill

Soppygit and I were in my room at university. We were both fourth years. I suggested walking around campus, but she didn't really want to. She suggested going for a horse ride, while I walked, but I didn't really want to. However, she and I set off into the countryside with Ibid, who was a third year. We got lost, and ended up on an island of dryness in the middle of a marsh. I hopped over the marsh back to safety. Ibid tried to follow me, but she started sinking. "It's quicksand!" she said. Soppygit rescued her, though.

My room at university was moved to the third storey of a hotel-like-building, round the bend from the stairs in an n-shaped corridor. My parents visited me there.

I was walking along a long corridor of an unfamiliar school. At a T-junction up ahead, I saw Bryn standing, talking on his mobile phone. Which was a bit strange, because I thought he'd been following me. I intended to hand him a note and walk on by, but when I got close enough to hear him, he was saying goodbye to the caller, so I waited until the call was over. When it was, he told me he was going out with someone else. Although I'd had a dream where this had happened and I'd been happy for him (well, the dream me had), I wasn't particularly happy then.

Thursday 28 December 2000: It’s Not Easy Being Yellow

I was in Islington, trying to find a tube station. I found what looked like one, but it was actually a railway station and I’d have to pay ten pounds to get to my destination. So I carried on walking. I found signs to a tube station and followed them, but getting there involved climbing up steep, man-made slopes, wading through mud and avoiding women with pushchairs.

It was the last day of my second term at UKC, and Janan, Vicky and Sian came to my room and said, “Come on, we need to go.” I hadn’t packed anything, so I just grabbed the bare essentials and left. We went into the basement of Eliot College, which was a tube station, and caught a tube to a railway station. Vicky was very worried we’d miss the train.

The station was big and confusing. We loitered in a waiting room / pub, which I didn’t think was the right place. I was worried about my backpack being stolen, and realised I hadn’t brought any work home with me - I’d been meaning to study over the holidays. I got a text message on my mobile phone from Bryn, which said “civ 3 cool I am home visit me”. “How many stops is it to Sittingbourne?” I asked Sian, even though I already knew. “Two,” she told me, wrongly.

I was about to send a text message back, when Vicky realised we were waiting in the wrong place, so we ran up a steep hill.

I was talking on the phone to Bryn, who was telling me about Civ 1, Civ 2 and Civ 3. They were all really difficult, because you only had a terrible weapon, but in the first two, he had found uses for them. “And if I come across a monster I can’t handle, I jump over it,” he said. “Yeah, I do that too,” I said.

I was watching a game of Chuckie Egg, except Chuckie was reciting his thoughts as he ran round the screen. He had a really difficult time on level 7, but somehow managed not to die. Between level 7 and level 8 he crossed a completely black screen except for some floating eggs. He seemed really miserable, and suddenly, explosions of dark green gas appeared between all the eggs.