Who is the Patron saint of England? Why St George of course! What did he do? He killed a dragon!! And what else pray? Errr - dunno. But killing a dragon's still cool!

Such a dialogue illustrates that St George is wedged in the popular psyche. But he really does not deserve to be. I want to bring St Edmund back as the Patron Saint of England.

We have to consider various facts. At first St Edmund (King of East Anglia killed by the invading Danes, staunch defender of Christendom and the English way of life) was the patron saint of our fair country [I am English so please bear with me when I say 'our' - I am fully aware that you might not be!] and quite right too! He died rather than surrender! That's the English way - Britons never, never shall be slaves and all! However, according to Britannica online:

In 1348, George was adopted by Edward III as principal Patron of his new order of chivalry, the Knights of the Garter. The earliest records of the Order of the Garter were destroyed by fire, but it is believed that either in 1348 or in 1344 Edward proclaimed St George Patron Saint of England.

It is easy to see why - after all the guy killed a dragon and rescued a princess! This was the image Edward wanted to create - The English were hard!

But why? After all the poor dragon was only following its dragonish instincts. Dragons eat meat - it is a fact of nature. In these days when we wish to ban hunting , is it fair that we should extol someone who wilfully killed a member of an endangered species? Dragons are extinct today and all because of these nasty Medieval knights who wondered around slaughtering the poor things until there were none left. And what for - girls! If you ask me there was only one reason why they wanted to impress and rescue these females - and it wasn't for the chaste reasons they professed either! Should we really honour a sex maniac!!!????

St Edmund was fighting for his country against the Danes (who were decidedly less nice then than they are now) who were raping his people, burning their houses and stealing everything that they had. (Unlike the dragon who was actually being fed by the townsfolk and would have gone away if they hadn't encouraged him.) And unlike most Anglo-Saxon kings, Edmund fought for his people! In an age when our leaders don't listen to their public, St Edmund sets them an example! He died for the people and his country! Furthermore, after the battle his followers were looking for his head. They found it at dusk being guarded by a wolf. Everyone knows that animals only like really nice people so it proves Edmund himself was nice! Besides, as the English are a nation of animal lovers it would surely be more appropriate to honour the saint the animals liked rather than the one who killed the poor things!

Then there is the consideration that St George already has enough on his plate. According to the Catholic forum he is the Patron Saint of Aragon, agricultural workers, archers, armourers, Boy Scouts, butchers, Canada, Catalonia, cavalry, chivalry, England, equestrians, farmers, Ferrara Italy, field hands, field workers, Genoa Italy, Georgia, Germany, Greece, herpes, horsemen, horses, husbandmen, Istanbul, knights, lepers, leprosy, Lithuania Moscow, Order of the Garter, Palestine, Palestinian Christians, plague, Portugal, riders, saddle makers, saddlers, skin diseases, skin rashes, soldiers, syphilis and Venice.

Now that's an awful lot! Naturally a saint can't devote as much attention as he should be able to these things. This means that he can only give shoddy service to them because he has too much to do! Besides - he is patron of so much that he has had his fill - it is pure vanity giving him all of this to be patron of! St Edmund meanwhile is patron of kings, plague epidemics, torture victims and wolves.

A much more sensible number of things. Vote Edmund for Patron Saint and you will get better service and prompter answers to your prayers!

You will also get a bona fide Englishman! He died before the Norman conquest so he was more English than the present Royal family! St George was not even English! We suspect he was a Palestinian but don't know for sure. You will agree that is better to have a Saint patron of his/her own country!

Besides - a dragon killer is surely going to aggravate the Welsh. Saints are Christians and aggravating people is a far from Christian thing to do. St Edmund never killed a dragon in his life and thus proved himself a friend of the Welsh and so of all peoples!

Finally - It is doubtful is St George even existed! There are many conflicting versions of this - frankly Arthurian and made up sounding - story. Some accounts say only that St George only converted the dragon to Christianity. This is a worthy feat - but it makes him far less hard than Edward III and the average England supporter would want us to believe. We know it is a historical fact that Edmund existed - fighting for safety and the English way of life against all comers, dying for his principles!

Furthermore he was an East Anglian - and a Suffolker and Suffolkers are the most wonderful and brilliant people in the world! As you might have guessed from yours truly!