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by Ell, En and Zed
ZED'S CHRISTMAS
Since home and university are about as close as Britney Spears' and Iron Maiden's musical styles, my parents were just a little unwilling to come and pick me up. So, I packed as little as possible, and on Saturday 16th December made my way to the railway station. Usually, it's a three-minute walk from the bus station, but after inserting sufficient breaks to prevent my wrist from snapping under the weight of my suitcase, it took about quarter of an hour. The train departed from sunny Canterbury at 10.47. A different one arrived in snowy Carlisle at 20.30. Needless to say, the journey was a bit boring. However, it was only a taster for the two weeks that lay ahead . . . There are a few perks to being at home. Having actual toilet roll instead of pink sandpaper is the first that springs to mind. (I have a slightly warped sense of priority.) Having a mattress more than three millimetres thick was also pleasant. And being able to watch "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?" is quite nice. However, after all the excitement university brings (i.e. dealing with En's love life), being at home seemed very dull indeed. I did partake in a few activities. I worked in the office of my parents' business for four days, doing the things one does in offices: play Minesweeper and Solitaire - whoops, I mean, file and type and add numbers. The greatest thrill was one of the employees changing all the error messages on the computers. "Searching database" became "Searching handbag . . . oops, the lipstick's fallen out again" and "Locking file: customers" turned into "Locking Vile Customers". I met up with C, someone who I have had a long and strange involvement with. (He's long and strange too, for that matter.) Apart from getting propositioned three times (naturally, I said no), our meeting was without event. I also went to the cinema with S, a good friend, where we saw "Charlie's Angels". I communicated with various other friends too, by phone and e-mail and MSN Messenger. B and I chatted online more or less every night and I got a phonecall by En. I finished reading a couple of books - "Tainted Life" - Marc Almond's autobiography - and "Kiss Him Goodbye" - you know, the sort of thing you buy at railway stations (well, the sort of thing I buy, anyway) - and read another "The Killer's Cousin". I watched "Four Weddings And A Funeral" for the first time, and spent eight and a half hours recording a reading of "Harry Potter And The Philosopher's Stone" off the radio, for B's benefit. (He's too lazy to read.) Oh, and I beat my high score in Bloxed, a Tetris variant. I used to be unable to get past level 59, but I reached level 67. For Christmas, I received a cheque, some CDs and other bumph, and suffered my annual torture in The Foul Place Of Dume. (Church.) Wonder if we'll have a Banana Cult Temple to celebrate in by next year? The holiday took a turn for the better when B arrived, to stay for a week. Activities engaged in included: We returned to Canterbury two days before term started. While on the train, I read "The Secret Dreamworld Of A Shopaholic" (at last! A modern romantic novel not about romance!) and got a phonecall from En. During my sibling-free days at university, the most exciting thing that happened was me going to a party, where I convinced someone that my name really was Zed. He was totally off his face, but nevertheless, it's a starting point in my New Year's resolution to rid myself of my Evil Name Of Boringness. That's all. Byezebye!
20th December 2000: Christmas dinner at Dave and Miranda's with Dave & Miranda (obv.) & the rest of Rotaract. Rotaract is a club I belong to for 18 to 30 year olds that does charity events and provides a social life for its members. Hello to members (past & present): Miranda, Dave, Cheryl, Matt, Colin, Martin, Veronica, Mark and Tracey. Thank you Miranda & Dave for our chats, cooking all of us a wonderful dinner and putting up with me nearly falling asleep on your sofa even though it was only midnight! 24th December 2000: The Christmas Eve buffet traditional to my family all prepared by Mum. At last I get my hands on the Belgian chocs! 25th December 2000: Christmas Day! Prezzies received: WH Smith gift vouchers from my next-door neighbours, £30 from Mum & Dad, a cheque from my godfather, a box of Cadbury's Roses and a nice, warm fleece. Earlier this month, I got "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" Quadralogy (don't know the word for a four-book series) from Zed and "The Mastership Game" by Scott McBain from Ell. Usual xmas lunch with turkey, etc. Did some homework (yes, I know it was Christmas Day but I was bored). 28th December 2000: Had my first ever blood test - Yeeouuch! Not very nice but I survived. 29th December 2000: The Ramagge family reunion at an Italian restaurant. Ramagge - pronounced Ra-mar-jay - is an Italian surname & my mum's maiden name. Spent most of the time talking to "Aunty" Jo (my mum's cousin) about how I've accidently wound up hanging out with a load of goths & rockers (who are very nice but would probably scare most my relatives) and having many of my fifteen second cousins (aged between 1 and 11) constantly bump into me. 31st December 2000: Spent New Year's Eve with my friend, Veronica and her friends, Andy & Gavin watching TV, chatting, eating munchies and drinking champagne. Interestingly enough, Andy is highly likely to be starting his post-grad degree at Kent next year and is a former inhabitant of Keynes College. 3rd January 2001: Semi-unintentional shopping spree in London. I say "semi-unintentional" because I was in dire need of a new pair of shoes but didn't plan to buy 3 CDs ("Hyperactive!" by Thomas Dolby, "Pump" by Aerosmith & "Chupacabra" by Imani Coppola , if you're interested) and a T-shirt with the slogan: "Warning: I have an attitude and know how to use it." Random but possibly interesting/useful fact: If, like me, you read really slowly, there is a company called TintaVision (which has an office at 72 Great Portland St, London) that makes special coloured screens. This was the main reason for my visit to London. If you book an assessment, they can find the right coloured screen to make you read faster - sounds daft, I know but I've tried it and my reading speed is definitely getting faster. For more details, 'phone (01778) 349233 or visit www.tintavision.com 6th January 2001: The Feast of Epiphany & Christmas Day for Spain ("Los Reyes Magos" - The Three Wise Men). Went to local cinema with childhood friend, Rhema and our friend, Andrew to see "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" (a martial arts film with lots of action, drama and a little bit of romance) which was v.good. 7th January 2001: Back to Uni. Films watched: "Mr Jealousy" (again!), "L.A Confidential" (except the first half hour which I missed - it was pretty good), "The Insider" (been wanting to watch that for some time - a bit long, a bit slow but definitely worth the effort), "Swimming with Sharks" (an relatively obscure film starring Kevin Spacey - a dark, psychologically-intriguing tale of an assistant wanting to make it big in the film industry who exacts revenge on his nasty boss), "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" (see entry 6th Jan).
Miscellaneous stuff: Worked on my first film script - I'll write it, see if it's any
good, then decide what to do with it; Phoned friends including Zed. The 15th December dawned bright and fair and its aspect matched my temperment, for my work was completed and I was elated at the prospect of returning unto the land of my birth and delighting in the company of my youth and partaking of food cooked by the tender and able hand of my dear mama. (If I say so myself, I don't think I've ever written a finer piece!) And so, when the travail of the day was done I was reunited with my dear family and we returned to the fair land of Suffolk. I met my dear little pets, Ben and Ralph (the dogs) and Dudley (the feline) and enjoyed a thoroughly lethargic evening in front of the masterpiece of Logie Baird (television for the ill educated). In the week preceding the celebrations of Christ's natal day, I spent many happy hours with my boon companions, comrades, cronies (all gleaned from my thesaurus!) and many less happy hours having my poor frame crushed by those in pursuit in gifts for their familes / friends / mafia bosses while I was attempting to determine which treasures would delight the persons with whom I am acquainted the most. The feast of Christmas passed without a great deal of ceremony. All the family was fatifued and the death earlier in the year of our dear departed cat cast a shadow over the festivities. However, the arrival of a family friend in the evening considerably brightened up the proceedings. However, I was sore agrieved to miss the last ten minutes of the film "Titanic" and the joyous sequence which delighted my soul where Dicaprio dies. The following days were lazy and I did little but watch television. I could not even go out as the winter cast its grim shadow over the land and the roads were covered with ice and the country was blanketed in snow. Upon the eve of the new year, I retired to sleep at 10.30. I felt that nothing that was done couold surpass the dawn of 2000 which I celebrated under the sultry night sky of Africa and I would rather see the dawn of the new year than hear the clock strike it in. On the 4th of the month, I awoke with nervousness coursing through my vein for that day was the day when I took on the roads. Would I win or lose and be condemned to a life of pedestrianism (or having to retake the test again)? At every turn of the road I could feel myself shaking. I kept hearing voices in my head saying "You have failed, my child". The rest of the time, I heard the sweet sound of Midge Ure singing "Hymn". As we drove into the test centre, my heart pounding, my sweating fingers clasping the steering wheel, he said those words which are even sweeter than "I love you": "You'll be pleased to know you've passed." I sent the documentation that very day and two weeks later, I received my ugly visage on an official UK driving licence.
Upon the 5th of this month, I saw many of those with whom I spent the dawn of 2000 at a reunion in London. Happy was I to see them again, less happy was I to see the bloke I used to fancy but thought I had got over snog someone else, thus suffering long dormant emotions. However, the evening was over all very pleasant, as were my holidays.
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