February being the month of soppiness, our regular and indefatigable chronicler, has naturally been too busy, she has been in her element and has been absorbing the soppy energies that come from the ground this month so you'll have to put up with crabby old me.

Well, what of that most nauseating of festivals? God really must have wanted to punish St Valentine to have Soppy day on the anniversary of his martyrdom. Well, Zed turned soppy on me. ARRRRGH!!!! She was given a red rose by B and was HAPPY and DIPPY about it! [Grrrrr, and why shouldn't I be? - (z)Ed] En was really quite good. She had agreed with Mr Dover not to go overboard. Well she couldn't as some gifted executive had decided to schedule a football match for that evening! I suspect there were not a few cross ladies across the country that evening! But to the festival in general I say a hearty BAH HUMBUG!!! A waste of money! And an excuse for lazy people to say 'I love you' only once a year! You should say it whenever to your beloved! [That's v. soppy of you, Ell - (z)Ed.] And no doubt the advertising campaign plans keep people away from their families and cause more divorces than marriages. Or it's an excuse to work late and have an affair afterwards.

I say again BAH HUMBUG and blow a raspberry to Valentine's day.

We went to the cinema not a few times this month. Zed and I both saw "Lawrence of Arabia", "Central Station" and "Drifting Clouds". B accompanied us to go and see "I Could Read The Sky" (but I couldn't follow the plot. Fortunately it was still good), and "Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon" (where I, ever the irreverent, laughed at the 'flying' bits thus annoying those behind. Well, it might be possible in theory but not in real life!) and En joined us for "Life is Beautiful" [to watch all the bits she missed on the occasion when she went with Mr Dover - (z)Ed] which we all enjoyed much for all it's SO SAAAD. Boo hoooooo.

En and I went home. I for some repose, En to have five cysts on her eyes operated upon. She was a brave girl and her charming eye no longer has a huge and horrible lump on.

The other major event of the month was our epic excursion to Bluewater. No, it is not an alien research centre as En thought but a shopping centre. We all brought tickets for the National Express though our collective lives were not in a mess nor was there a jolly hostess selling crisps and tea for a sky high fee, but En and I sang the song on the way home. I was not actually that impressed [with Bluewater, I trust, not En's singing? - (z)Ed]. There were a lot of shops to be sure but most were chain stores selling things I could have got in Canterbury. There was only one bookshop for crying out loud! 1 in 320! Most sold horrible clothes. However En and Zed were pleased with the underwear that they purchased for themselves and their other halves! It was sickening. However the highlight of the day was the lego shop! There I did build a ruined temple with Zed! I suspect we were the only childless adults there (I believe it was Euripedes who said "they who have no children are happy by being unfortunate") and Zed bought a huge castle for a sum I shall not name lest you hate her for the extravagance.

And we have of course had to fight the horrors of work and essays. But this is a happy chronicle so I shall not go into it. I now take time to thank God for March, the oncoming spring and to al soppiness - BAH HUMBUG. Go away Cupid.