yesterday was such a fucking excellent day. i woke up thinking fuck ive got to go back to school but before i left the post arrived and there was something for me. luvchild had sent me a razor.

if i was still allowed to use exclamation marks thered be an infinite number at the end of that line. unfortunately im not. :) anyway thank you so much luvchild. :) :) it means so much to me. :) :) :) ::hugs:: :) :) :) :) :)

so all day yesterday i kept rushing to the toilets so i could cut myself. i have loads of scars now and theyre so beautiful. as i cut i kept thinking about luvchild how nice she is and how intelligent she is and how much i love her website and how much fun our chats on icq are....... and suddenly i thought hey i love her. im rilly in love with her. i love her so much more than anyone else. than everyone else put together even. she is perfection. i love her.

im rilly glad that occurred to me because its so trendy to be bisexual or lesbian these days and i was beginning to think something was wrong with me because i liked him. ha. now i see that i didnt rilly like him at all. it was just a stupid juvenile teenage crush and it was totally out of proportions. to think i almost killed myself for him. i was such a fucking freak.

and if you dont believe me when i say im over him well fuck you ill show you. yesterday he kept trying to talk to me he was asking me stuff like where ive been for the last few days. but i totally ignored him. i couldnt be bothered because all i wanted to do was cut myself and think about luvchild instead. so there.

when i got home from school last night i went straight on the computer and luvchild and me chatted for about sixteen hours. my parents kept saying to me get off the fucking computer cos its costing a fucking fortune and i need to use the fucking phone but i wouldnt leave. i just stayed there because if i had to stop talking to luvchild id die. i wouldnt even have to kill myself id just wither and die and perish. instantly.

so luvchild and me kept telling each other how much we love each other. she used to love letsat and bbs but she is totally over that because she loves me instead. i am sooooooo happy. :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) i love smileys in case you hadnt noticed hahahahahahhahaha. but not as much as i love luvchild. :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) hahahahahahahahahhha. i love saying hahahahahahahahahahah as well :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) hahahahahahahahahhhahahahahahhhaahahhahahahaa. but most of all i love luvchild :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)
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enough of that :) :) :) hahahaha oops im doing it again. anyways me and luvchild had cybersex millions of times. eventually her parents unplugged the computer and hid it and they are never letting her use it again. fucking bastards. fuck them. fuck fuck fuck. but im not going to let them get in the way of our love. so i am going to meet her. i dont know how ill manage that since she lives thousands of miles away but im sure the strength of our love will see us through. :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)