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18 march
you probably thought i was dead. well im not. so tough. i wish i was but im not. i should probably just try and kill myself again but ill probably fuck up and end up back in the loony bin and i couldnt stand that. yeah thats what happened to me last time i tried to kill myself on monday. i fucked up and my parents decided they couldnt deal with my problems and put me in the fucking loony bin. bastards. i hate them. i hated it there. i tried to fucking kill myself by smashing the window and jumping out of it. unfortunately it was unbreakable glass in the windows and it fucking wrecked my hand. the pain was nice though. i love the pain i embrace the pain i need the pain i want more of it. give me a fucking razor, someone. anyways only two good things came of my days in there. one they made me stop using exclamation marks all the time. im so glad they did that they were starting to look ugly and i sounded like a total teenybopper. everyone probably thinks im about eight now well im not im seventeen so fuck off. two they told me to tell him about how i feel. fuck. why did i never think of that? how can i possibly expect him to ask me out if he doesnt know how i feel about him? i am going to tell him tomorrow but i wish i knew his phone number so i could tell him tonight. fuck. how can i wait that long? i know ill go to bed. i was going to write some more poems now but i cant be arsed so fuck off. |